The University of Chicago, often compared to Harvard, Yale and Stanford for the level of its academic excellence, is hosting a Sex Week chock-full of events graphically teaching techniques that, in a more innocent time, were considered private matters. Some examples include workshops titled: “Great Oral Sex with Tea Time and Sex Chats,” “The Perfect Vagina,” “Anal 101,” and “Sex Ed for Kids.” Why, there’s even a musical titled “Genitalia the Musical.”

“Great Oral Sex with Tea Time and Sex Chats” will include talks about “going down on men and women, techniques as well as individual differences and sexual health practices. Yes, expect tea.”

Gee, no coffee?

“Anal 101?” It will feature the “logistics and pleasures of anal sex,” with lessons on “prep, protection, barebacking, etc.”

“Partner Acrobatics?”  You’ll learn “how to stand on shoulders and every other place on the body. We’ll have a rope-demonstration where you’ll find that kink is really focused on consent and communication.”

Other great things? A pornographic parody of “Star Wars.”

The worst? “Sex Ed For Kids,” which asks, “How do we talk about sex and its related concepts of choice, gender, and desire to our kindergartners?”

Sex Week is funded by the Dean’s Fund for Student Life and the Student Government Finance Committee.