Lonewolf Diaries: A Letter to Lorne Michaels (Official Petition)



Copied below is the ACTUAL letter that I sent to and was signed for by Lorne Micheals (and assistant) today over at NBC. I know that the writing is a little less snippy than usual, but please take into account that this man could squash my nuts into oblivion. There's plenty of room for suggestions, so I encourage you to chime in. And bear in mind, Lorne may be stopping by here.
Dear Mr. Michaels

I write this letter not as a disgruntled fan, but as a true admirer of what SNL stands for (and as a fellow Canadian/American). We both know how popular it is to mutter things like "I liked SNL, back when it was good" or "SNL used to be cool, but now their writing sucks etc." Trust me; I'm as annoyed by those folks as you are. I truly believe that you have one of the most talented casts ever assembled over there at NBC.

I not only love your show, but I love the principal of a weekly program centered around irreverence. You folks are the jesters making fun of the king, and that's something that a free country desperately needs. The problem is, that I don't see much jesting anymore. You folks over at Rainbow Studio seem all too eager to get in on the "kissing of the ring" action. What's up with that?

I would hate to see your show render itself irrelevant due to a completely one-sided cast/writing staff being totally ill-equipped to deal with the most lopsided government in American History. Don't get me wrong, I know that it's not entirely your fault. Being in the NBC/TV "Bubble" must make it hard to find a dissenting viewpoint. You're surrounded by "yes men" who think of many Americans as nothing more than "people from the fly-over states". Contrary to popular belief in NYC, there are plenty of people out there who are unhappy with this administration. If I had to put a number on it, I'd guess about 46%.

Half of the country tunes in weekly, waiting for you to take the irreverent pot-shots at the current administration that we've come to know and love throughout the Bush era, only to be disappointed.

I don't know whether you find it "unpatriotic" to make fun of the current Administration, or if you honestly feel that you haven't enough ammo. I would find the latter hard to believe considering that the country's VP is JOE FREAKING BIDEN. The man is an absolute goldmine of material. He's the comedic gift that keeps on giving.

However, if you folks don't have at least one honest to God conservative on your writing staff, who is able to offer an authentically cynical view of the current Presidency, I would like to formally suggest that you do so. The quality of your show may depend on it.

Being a young Comedian who's toured and written professionally for years, I would like to formally offer my services. Now I'm totally aware that someone over at NBC may pull the "Norm Macdonald card" on me ("You're just not funny"), and may very well be right in doing so, which is why I have compiled a list of other thought-provoking, right-of-center comedians available upon request.

I hope you take this into consideration and I look forward to hearing from you... Or you could just write me off as some "right wing punk" with an axe to grind. That's cool too.

God bless!
Sincerely,
Steven Crowder

PS: This letter is being posted tonight on "Big Hollywood" to tens of thousands of readers. Feel free to stop by and view their responses.

There you have it my fellow anti-establishment amigos. If you support this motion, leave a response explaining so. Also, if you feel that I'm a totally unfunny jackass who's terribly ill-equipped for the job, feel free to suggest people who would be better.

Finally, to those of you who are happy with the status quo and DON'T support this motion... How does it feel to be The Man?

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