Lonewolf Diaries: Hollywood Men, Grow a Pair and Marry the Dame! by Steven Crowder 25 Aug 2009 post a comment Share This: “Marriage is just a title,” “It’s a prejudice institution,” or my personal favorite, “I don’t need a piece of paper to prove my love.” We hear these nice little soundbytes from the cowardly men of Hollywood time and time again. Even more sadly, is that all too often, their leading ladies are conned into going along with it. Women, what are you thinking?! Don't you realize that these chumps are playing you like a fiddle? I was a groomsman at one of my best friend’s wedding this weekend. As I gazed across at the Bridesmaids all teary-eyed with an air of longing, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Man, Johnny Depp's a douche." The truth is that behind every anti-marriage sermon given from a Hollywood hubby, there’s an incredibly disappointed lady. I don’t care how much of a “strong, independent woman” you are; all little girls dream of their perfect wedding day. Before the feminists get upset, let me tell you that none of this comes from a place of sexism. It comes from an endeared heart. It’s why little boys would rather play “Space Aliens” and little girls would rather play “House.” Your inherent ability for compassion and nurturing is what makes you the best among us. It also happens to be exactly what makes the Johnny Depps, Tim Robbins, Kurt Russells and Brad Pitts of the world the most selfish dipsticks on the planet. Robbing the woman that you “love” of her wedding day is deplorable. The concept of love (we’re talking about actual love here, not the silly Hollywood version) involves esteeming her needs and desires before your own. I don’t care if you want to “play the field” or if you truly don’t feel the need for a piece of paper to confirm your affection, because I guarantee you that deep down… she does. Now I’m sure some of you are wondering about the Megan Foxs of the world. You know, the girls who claim that they are “not the marrying type.” I’ll tell you what: show me one of these girls, and every single time, I will show you a pansy-man behind the charade who has either A) denied her marriage to the point of reluctant acceptance on the woman’s behalf, or B) actually conned the poor dame into believing his crap. The Megan Foxs of the world are the perfect target for germ-balls--they’re hot… and dumb as a bag of hammers. Keep in mind, ladies, that men are always and will always be sexually predatorial by nature. We can’t change it; it’s who we are. We can however choose on how to act on said urges and what kind of moral filter we’ll be running them through. The type of guy who selfishly refuses to marry is probably not the kind of chap who’s concerned with fine-tuning his moral compass. The first thing that goes through his mind when a cuter, younger babe approaches him will inevitably be, “Hey, I’m not married!” Keep that in mind, ladies. To all the honest guys out there, back me up on this one. To the ladies, is this news to you? Do you actually think that the male mind is anything short of disgusting? Finally, to all of the gutless yellow-bellied Hollywood leading men… Sack up, do the right thing, put a ring on her finger and give her the true commitment and respect that she deserves. Period.