So the pint-sized pasta-pooper known as Snookie was paid 32 grand by Rutgers University to speak at New Jersey's largest college.
And yes, they have colleges.
The inverse candy corn was booked by a student-run group, using money from the mandatory student activity fee.
Now, some might find this outrageous. How dare you pay that sum of cash to a pumpkin full of sherbert when you could get someone like.... Toni Morrison!
I believe the Snook is an inspired choice - once you consider the pablum students have endured in the past.
Like Paul Krugman, a miserable wretch possessing the humor of sheet rock. Or that mad-tingler Chris Matthews.
Then there's Alec Baldwin, Christiane Amanpour, Face the Nation moderator Bob Schieffer, U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission chair Mary Schapiro, and Rachel Maddow.
My fave: Gustavo Esteva-who once spoke at the University of Vermont. He's a self-described Marxist, which means he really spoke truth to power that day. I bet the air was filled with spirited debate!
Anyway, I'd much rather hear Snookie's laundry tips and tanning tricks than how Rachel Maddow got her gig (my guess: be yourself!).
And out of all the names I rattled off, Snookie truly is an American tale of rags to riches. She had no idea her life would take this turn, and she seems to absorb the fame and its accompanying silliness with a certain level of charm that you just don't see in self-satisfied smirkers like Maddow.
And I like Snookie's philosophy: "Study hard, but party harder."
Although I hate people who use "party" as a verb, I'll give her a pass because we both wear the same bra size.
And if you disagree with me, you're a racist homophobe.
newcomer, Dan Soder!
and some other junk!