The following article contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.
Hello everyone! Didja watch "Glee" last night? Come on, admit it … I know you did. It’s the show we all love and love to hate at the same time. There’s singing! There’s dancing! There’s propaganda!
What’s not to have a love/hate relationship with?
This week, the show opened with Puck fantasizing about Shelby, which isn’t awkward at all, until you realize that she is not only his teacher but also the adoptive mother of his baby daughter with classmate Quinn. Oh yeah, and Quinn is trying to frame Shelby as a bad mother to get baby Beth back, and
Puck kissed Shelby in a previous episode.
Amidst the baby mama drama, Kurt’s dad Burt is running against Sue for congress. Actress Jane Lynch
has openly stated that her character, Sue Sylvester, will be playing a candidate “more right-winged than Michele Bachmann.”
Which means that we have to take her campaign against (small business owner and proud father of a gay son) Burt to be what Hollywood liberals believe conservatives to be. It’s actually rather disturbing.
Sue releases a campaign ad smearing Burt as a baboon. Last year, Burt almost died and needed heart surgery, so now Sue is playing off of that by saying that he possibly got a baboon heart transplant. Because conservatives are always going around calling Democrats animals. Or something.
The kicker that got me to that banging-my-head-on-the-wall level was the subtitle of the fake commercial: PAID FOR BY ANGRY WHITE PEOPLE
TO ELECT SUE SYLVESTER.
Back to the baby mama drama …
Quinn (birth mother of Beth) wants to steal
her baby back from Shelby and has planted fake evidence in Shelby’s home in order to get CPS to take Beth away. Of course, she’s unaware that her baby daddy, Puck, is now in love
lust with adoptive mom Shelby and has disposed of the planted "evidence."
In another plot line, Mean Girl Santana has been bad mouthing Finn all over school. Finn finally has enough and very calmly responds, “Hey Santana? Why don’t you come out of the closet?”
In case you were wondering, Santana has recently discovered that she is more attracted to other girls than she is to boys. Finn continues to dig in, telling Santana that she’s a coward because she’s too afraid to come out openly in love with Brittany (which she is) because Brittany might not love her back.
Now here’s where the most interesting part of the episode happened. Burt, Sue, and Glee Club director Mr. Shue call Santana aside. These three? What could be going on? Sue HATES Burt and Mr. Shue. Why would all three be together?
It seems that a third party candidate overheard Finn’s accusations against Santana and has now created an ad targeting Sue, because how dare she run on a family values platform and promote a lesbian to head cheerleader at the same time?
Huh. My first thought on this was, “Why is Sue involved, and acting like she cares? Isn’t her character supposed to hate the gays?”
My second thought was, “Do Hollywood liberals believe that the only way we can unite is over the gay community?”
And my third thought was, “Earlier in the episode, did Kurt refer to dodgeball as modern day stoning?”
Because he totally did. Note to teenagers everywhere: Dodgeball won’t kill you. Stoning will.