"Troll 2" is a movie so bad it's great. The same holds true for "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Showgirls."
But 99.5 percent of terrible movies are just ... terrible. That's especially evident with the following five features, a quintet which cost millions to produce and yielded very little in return.
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Dishonorable mentions include "The Change Up," "Green Lantern," "Larry Crowne," "Sucker Punch" and "A Good Old Fashioned Orgy." But these five movies went above and beyond the call of duty in draining precious hours from our lives.
- "Just Go With It" - Wow. Just wow. The laziest comedy in who knows how long wastes not only the talents of stars Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston but also bit players Nicole Kidman and Dave Matthews. Sandler can challenge us ("Punch Drunk Love"), make us smile ("The Wedding Singer") and even give us some grand guilty pleasures ("You Don't Mess with the Zohan"). But with this sorry remake of "Cactus Flower" shows he can arrive on a movie set, recite dialogue less thought out than a Mad Libs sheet and call it a day without doing some rigorous soul searching.
- "Dylan Dog: Dead of Night" - Insert your own Superman crashes back to Earth gag here. Poor Brandon Routh received precious little career buzz from his underrated work in the 2006 Man of Steel reboot. Five years later, he's reduced to starring in this wannabe horror comedy about an undead hunter trying to ... well, is there any point reciting such a sorry excuse for a plot?
- "Your Highness" - Danny McBride is not a movie star, James Franco isn't the next Steve Martin and Natalie Portman should know better than to appear in a fifth-rate "Monty Python" sketch stretched beyond the breaking point. Best suited for teenage boys jazzed to see their first R-rated movie no matter how painful the experience may be.
- "The Human Centipede - Full Sequence" - "Fear Factor" contestants should be forced to watch this on an IMAX screen. Every criticism unfairly lobbed at the first "Centipede" hits the mark in this gross and mindless affair. The concept - a "Centipede" fan wants to emulate his favorite movie - might have worked had writer/director Tom Six not decided to eschew the storytelling prowess he flashed in the grisly original.
- "Apollo 18" - It's amazing how many scares Hollywood has wrung out of the found footage genre, from "The Blair Witch Project" to three chilling "Paranormal Activity" films. That means we were bound to endure a mega-bomb like this outer space claptrap.
* Note: My schedule did not allow me to view other potential clunkers like "Jack and Jill," "Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star" and "Dream House."