Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson as his lover and bondage partner-in-training Anastasia Steele. The movie opens on Valentine's Day.
HEROINE: Enlighten me.
Cut to: whips, chains, handcuffs, blindfolds and our heroine strapped to a trapeze experiencing sexual ecstasy for what we know is the first time.
You've come a long way, baby…
No one has benefited more from feminism than sexist men who see women as disposable meat.
Lemme guess: "50 Shades of Grey" ends with a politically correct cherry on top; our mousy heroine is transformed into Jane Fonda after debasing herself sexually…
Just like heroin makes you a creative genius and adultery expands your horizons, bondage is beautiful.
Hollywood told me so.
P.S. Other than the dirty sex, that trailer looks a cheap, predictable Lifetime movie.
Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC