Arrest Pending for Browns Fan Mistaking Art Modell's Grave for a Urinal
Maryland law enforcement made a blackhearted Browns fan feel blue today after announcing his pending arrest for giving the green grass of Art Modell's grave a golden shower. The longtime Browns owner absconded from Cleveland with the team in the mid-1990s despite voters authorizing tax funds for a new stadium.
Maryland law punishes "indecent or disorderly conduct in a cemetery" with up to two years in jail and a fine the equivalent of parking at Browns home games this season. The authorities won't release the mingent man's name until they formally charge him.
Modell, whose Ravens won a Super Bowl for Baltimore after the 2000 season, enjoys a much more favorable reputation among Marylanders than among Ohioans.
"As far as pissing on your grave," the Browns fan wearing a Lyle Alzado jersey explains on the video posted on YouTube. "I had no choice. Anybody says, 'It's been about fifteen years. Art's dead. Let it go.' You know what? F--- You. You let it go."
Tell it to the judge.