I know the media is objective and netural...
...because neutral and objective people always go into Mobile Gundam Force Spazz Mode to rehabilitate a bumbling imbecile who humiliated himself on national television.
My general rules:
The more strenuously the media insists "There's no story," the more convinced I am there's a story.
The more spasmodically they scream "Nothing at all happened here," the more sure I am that something did indeed happen.