Trend: Married, But Not Exclusive
Only in a DC publication can this be a trend. From Washingtonian:
Kyle didn’t like the idea of watching his wife have sex with another man. While he wasn’t the jealous type—he could watch his wife flirt with another guy and not feel a thing—voyeurism didn’t turn him on.
But the rules of marriage were forever changed for Kyle, a stay-at-home dad, and his wife, Hope, a psychotherapist, when they decided to open their marriage to other romantic and sexual partners. It was Hope’s idea.
“It’s not that what we had wasn’t good,” she says. “I just wanted to try something different.”
That’s how Kyle found himself in the bedroom of another man two years ago; he’d insisted on tagging along on Hope’s date. Kyle, 42, prides himself on being a loving husband, and he wanted to make sure another man would treat his wife respectfully, tenderly even, during sex. “He’s very protective of me,” says Hope, 36.
Barf. Color me shocked to read that the husband is a stay-at-home dad and the wife is a psychotherapist. Another shocker, Hope has no problem finding men willing to play around with a married woman. Poor Kyle is a harder sell with women.
Kyle and Hope have been married ten years. They have two little boys, a nice home in Alexandria, and a close relationship. They have sex no more than any other couple chasing around two kids does, but they are in love. Which is why Kyle was hesitant to open their marriage when Hope suggested it. Life with her was so good—why risk mucking it up by involving other people? Still, he was intrigued.
“We saw it all as a big experiment,” Kyle says. “We wanted to try it out and see what it was like.”
He struggled in the beginning. While Hope seemed to meet new boyfriends easily, Kyle hadn’t been confident dating in his twenties. Suddenly he was back to standing awkwardly at parties trying to make conversation with women.
Eventually Kyle did find a girlfriend. They have "play dates" with his kids and her daughter. No adult playtime until the kids go to sleep. What self-control! They say the kids don't know the difference between this and any other play date. Really? Do the other mommies and daddies stay until bed time.
If two people decide they want something outside their marriage, but still want to be married, I suppose that's fine (but delusional). When they get kids involved, that's ridiculous. There should be no play dates and no meeting of the other man or woman. It just boggles the mind how selfish people can be when it comes to sexual fulfillment.