‘Twas the night before Shutdown, when all through the nation
Not a citizen was happy, not this occasion;
ACA Waivers hung by the Congress with care,
In hopes that the Teamsters would not despair;
Government staffers, nestled snug in their beds,
While visions of exemptions danced in their heads,
And Michelle in her Dior, and I in my golf shirt,
Had just laughed ourselves silly at Republican butthurt—
When out in the Senate, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the back nine to see what was the matter.
Away to the Treasury I flew like a flash,
Tore open the coffers and spread ’round the cash.
The moon on the breast of a nation near fallen,
Gave luster to lobbyists, who from Soros, came callin’;
When what to my progressive gaze should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and a few RINOdeer,
With a driver who made right wing ears bleed,
I knew that it must be Senator Reid.
Like turncoats and buzzards, the moderates came,
And he cursed, and shouted, and call’d them by name:
“Now! Ayotte, now! Blunt, now! Chambliss and Coburn,
On! Graham, on! McCain, on! McConnell and Cornyn;
To hell with The People! Let Democracy fall!
I’ll cause this Shutdown and then blame you all!