The Experimental Results Are In
Progressive, forward-thinking, economically responsible California raises taxes. Ignorant slack-jawed anti-science Bible-beater hillbilly Texas legislature lowers taxes.
Progressive, forward-thinking, economically responsible California raises taxes. Ignorant slack-jawed anti-science Bible-beater hillbilly Texas legislature lowers taxes.
Oompah Loompah loopity doo I’ve got an econ lesson for you If you spend ten billion a day In the end somebody must pay.
Say ‘ello to my leetle fren’: axe confiscated in border rawk-out WASHINGTON – Today’s uncovering of secret multi-agency program for shipping illegal Gibson guitars to Mexican drug cartels left red-faced officials of the U.S. Department of Justice scrambling for an
Jim Treacher reports that former child actor (and pride of the Evanston Township HS English Department) John Cusack has discovered the joys of Twitter, with somewhat predictable results. Crueler folks have already analyzed Mr. Cusack’s 140-character musings and theorized the
Welcome to the Journolist Top Secret Progressive He-Man Wingnut Haters Club and L33t H4xoR Chat Room. Disclaimer: this is a private discussion forum intended solely for the benefit of JournoList members. Reproduction, transmission, redistribution, or description, in whole or in
A Public Safety Alert from David Burge Executive Director and Chief Research Officer The Media Violence Project / Center for the Study of Politician Sociopathy At the Media Violence Project, our charter is to protect public safety by researching, documenting
Obama’s Eleven (Scene 1: Framed from the back, bathed in the glaring kleig lights, a lonely lounge crooner stands at a microphone with a trenchcoat slung over his shoulder.) VOICE-OVER This is it. The big time. The main room at
(with deep apologies to Frank Capra) ************** Scene 14: Christmas Eve, inside Bedford Falls Town Hall. Senator George Bailey confronts an angry mob of constituents protesting his vote on the new health care bill. MAN #1 Come on Bailey, you
by Carbie the Climate Clown Emmett K. Bozo Distinguished Professor of Climate Pantomimology, University of East Anglia EU Regional President, Union of Concerned Climate Scientists and Street Performers The scientific evidence is everywhere we look — in our vanishing polar
Narrator Our very planet depends on them. Yet they remain nature’s most elusive scientific species, inhabiting some of the world’s most delicate and daunting academic environments. But thanks to new breakthroughs in high speed cameras and email files, metascientists are
Nidal “Gary” Hassan – All-American boy was haunted by memories of Gitmo, ‘Nam, Hiroshima INEVITABLY, ANOTHER SOLDIER SNAPS Distraught pacifist conscientious objector tormented by horrors of war, as far as you know Newsroom experts: stress, violence, stupidity, tragedy a way
[ed. note: republished and amended from a 2007 post] Dear BARACK OBAMA : Congratulations! On behalf of the selection committee, I am pleased to announce that you have been named a 2009 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, in recognition
Like you, when I read that a cabal of art-hating reactionary philistines had forced the resignation of Yosi Sergant from the National Endowment for the Arts, I was sickened. This was followed by shame, then fear. And then, finally, the
It’s true — U.S. government demand for art and art-like products has never been higher! Uncle Sam and the good folks at the National Endowment for the Arts are on the lookout for go-getting, obedient artists like you for a
[ed – Rush transcript! Leaked NEA conference call from my mom, proving the Bush Administration did it too] TRANSCRIPT OF CONFERENCE CALL OF THE NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR THE ARTS 21-Jan-2007 MR. SMIRNOV: Hello everybodies! Who we gots on the phones
Good morning! Did you have a restful sleep? Yes, I know it’s 3 AM, I just thought… well, the whole orderly staff thought a little early morning air would do you some good after all that commotion yesterday. I have
By Linda Douglass Deputy Assistant Under-Minister of Truth White House Health Care Task Force Greetings citizen! By now you may have heard scattered rumors of state and party officials encountering reactionary resistors at local health care reform information programs. Do
Ed. note: many thanks to Charles Glasser for alerting me to this incredible business opportunity] ————————– THE UNITED STATES BUREAU OF JOLLITY AND HUMOR ADMINISTRATION EVERETT DIRKSEN FEDERAL MERRIMENT CENTER 3000 JAMES EARL CARTER PARKWAY SOUTH WASHINGTON, DC FORM US/BJHA-1106(d)
An Iowahawk Techno-pinion by David Burge It hardly seems possible that 40 years have now passed since Neil Armstrong put that puffy moon boot in the dusty surface of the Sea of Tranquility and uttered those immortal words — “joke’s
LOS ANGELES – Millions of fans from around the globe gathered along Sunset Boulevard to pay final respects to California today, as a slow moving funeral procession transported the eccentric superstar state’s remains to its final resting place in a
In October 1864, a 38-year old farmer from Story County, Iowa enlisted with Company I of the 8th Iowa Volunteer Infantry. With a wife and five young kids to feed, and with no certainty of return, it must have been
[Crunchy metal music punctuated by power tool noises] DAVE Hi everybody, this is Dave Burge — and welcome to [growl voice] D.C. Garage! [/growl voice] Where we hijack classic American muscle and give it a monster makeover with our pro
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(Thundering tympanies, swirling spotlights) Announcer Live! From the fabulous Turtle Bay Ballroom at United Nations Headquarters, it’s the Rat Pack of Evil All-Star International Celebrity Roast of President Barack Obama! (orchestra fanfare: ‘Make ‘Em Laugh’) With Pyongyang funnyman Kim Jong-Il!
FILM PROJECTOR thlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthl ROLL TITLES “It Could Happen Here!” A PRESENTATION OF THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY JANET NAPOLITANO, DIRECTOR IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE AND THE HOUSE ANTI-TAX ACTIVITIES COMMITTEE AN
