Comrades! President Obama Is Just Another Black Man Redlined By Racist Credit Agencies!

Racism! That’s what is to blame, comrades, for Standard & Poor’s dastardly downgrade of America’s credit rating. Don’t be fooled by the benign appearance of “AA+”. Those A’s are meant to make us feel better. But we know when we’re being graded on a curve just for the sake of affirmative action. We hear the racist condescension in that “plus.”

What S&P really meant to say was “F”–to which, comrades, we must declare: “F you, too!”

Decades of reckless federal spending and expanding government–and now the rating agencies have a problem with it?

Robert Henderson, Jr. said it best at The Grio–NBC’s segregated, er, special section for black opinion and commentary: “…America’s credit will have been downgraded for the first time, with a black man in the White House, potentially reinforcing the stereotype that black people are poor money managers.”

Could the racism be any more obvious? The moneylenders and their media–yeah, I said it!–have put up with the profligacy of irresponsible white presidents forever.

Every single white president for generations has raised the debt ceiling over and over again. George W. Bush declared war on the world at a cost of trillions of dollars we simply didn’t have. Along comes a black president–and look what happens. Panic! Downgrade!

Comrades! President Obama predicted this, long before his glorious victory, when he warned that our enemies would tell voters he “doesn’t look like all those presidents on the dollar bills.” Now that he has won, they are attacking the dollar bill itself!

Of course the Tea Party terrorists are partly to blame. They are racist to the core, the reincarnation of the Ku Klux Klan in the post-Civil War South, imitating the Nazi party, which leveraged its political minority into absolute power.

But the Teabaggers are being manipulated by larger forces–by the very capitalists who invented racism to divide the poor, by the rating agencies that created the subprime mortgage crisis to begin with!

Our president is a victim of the same tricks that the rating agencies and the big banks used for decades when they redlined entire neighborhoods out of the mortgage market. They said it was for economic reasons, but the real motive was primitive racism.

Our heroic president lent his legal talents to ACORN when they took on the big banks and their economic apartheid back then. They’ve wanted their racist revenge ever since.

And they’re getting it. They’re foreclosing on the very people that Obama and ACORN helped to get housing loans in the first place. Now we’re told those homeowners should never have received mortgages because they couldn’t pay them back–because some of them didn’t even have jobs.

Oh, yeah? Does Mitt Romney have a job? Or how about George W. Bush, who bankrupted every business he ever ran? Did he get a house? RACISM!

And let’s not mention a $2 trillion error that S&P made when they announced their downgrade. (Never mind the fact that $2 trillion is basically a rounding error when you consider the long-term liabilities that decades of white presidents have left us.) That $2 trillion “mistake” is no accident–it’s just proof the rating agencies care about race more than they care about the numbers.

Comrades: there’s only one solution to the racism of the rating agencies. We can no longer trust the U.S. government–we have to go straight to the United Nations, where so-called white nations are a small minority.

We must demand the UN General Assembly pass a Communism Reinvestment Act that will force international lenders to devote a portion of their assets to helping countries that have chosen big government policies. They must spread the wealth around!

Comrades! We must put an end to ratings agency redlining and racism! We must pass a Communism Reinvestment Act! We must never let the racist Republicans repossess our country!

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