He has been her meal ticket into national politics. He has been the sex predator in the White House whom she ruthlessly covered for. He has been her own personal dog in heat.
And now, locked in a galactic battle on the national stage with real estate mogul and GOP favorite Donald J. Trump, former first lady Hillary Clinton is calling in her “not-so-secret weapon” to campaign for her in New Hampshire, the state that made him the “Comeback Kid.”
For the 1992 Clinton campaign, it was Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow.”
For the 2008 — er, 2016 — Clinton campaign, it is the Beatles’ “Yesterday.”
Twenty-five years on, and Bill Clinton is still the only reason for Hillary’s existence in national politics.
Because she married the right man, she was able to convert his success into a carpetbagging stint holding down a Senate seat from New York.
Then, her imperious sense of entitlement cost her the presidency in 2008. But she was able to convert that rebuke into a handsome consolation prize — a payoff for her troubles — as Barack Obama’s secretary of state.
Her tenure was truly magical. She managed to take a global stage that could not have been any worse — and somehow made it so much worse. Forget ex-President George W. Bush — who ever would have thought the world might pine for the good ol’ days of Moammar Gadhafi? Or that Vladimir Putin would be our 50 percent ally in Syria?
Now, running for Bill’s third term, Hillary Clinton has launched her opening salvo against Mr. Trump. Curiously, she is accusing him of being “sexist” — a breathtaking charge considering the glass house in which she lives and the cad of a husband she chose when it comes to that particular human failing.
Being a fact-free candidate, Hillary Clinton does not specify what makes Mr. Trump a “sexist.”
By all accounts, Mr. Trump hires strong, smart and talented women. Not, for instance, women who get jobs only because they married well. Then he puts them in positions of power in his organization.
So what are the reasons Donald Trump is considered “sexist?” Well, according to The Washington Post, it is because Mr. Trump quite accurately described how Mrs. Clinton got “schlonged” in her 2008 race for the presidency.
And because Mr. Trump said it was “disgusting” that Hillary Clinton, D-Woman, has twice now made a big deal about returning to the stage of nationally televised Democratic debates by calling attention to the fact that she had to use the ladies’ room instead of the men’s room.
I am sorry, but if that is not “disgusting,” then I don’t know what is. I personally have worked for a lot of very strong, talented and accomplished editors who were women and who taught me a great deal. Never — not once — did any of them make such a big deal out of something so ridiculous and crude.
Oh, and not a single one of those women got her job because she married well. Each one got to where she was through smarts, hard work and talent.
As for the “schlonging.” It is a word, vulgar but descriptive. Distinctly New York. Full of moxie. And, in this particular case, totally accurate.
But look at the career of Bill Clinton and all the women he has been accused of raping, assaulting and groping. Consider the woman — just a few years older than his own daughter — whom he led on, lied to, preyed upon and ultimately trysted with in the Oval Office.
And consider the lengths to which the former president went to discredit and destroy the woman brave enough to confront her attacker. And there was nobody anywhere in Clintonworld working harder and nastier by his side every step of the way than Hillary Rodham Clinton.
So, who is the real sexist running for president right now?
Charles Hurt can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter via @charleshurt.