First, they told us that Donald Trump’s whole campaign was conjured up by disgraced ex-President Bill Clinton as a way to toss a smoke grenade into the middle of the Republican presidential primary and smooth the path to the White House for his wife, Hillary.
“Former President Bill Clinton had a private telephone conversation in late spring with Donald Trump at the same time that the billionaire investor and reality-television star was nearing a decision to run for the White House, according to associates of both men,” the Washington Post reported back in August after the reality set in that Mr. Trump was not going away because he was running a brilliant campaign and voters were flocking to his message.
“The former president was upbeat and encouraging during the conversation, which occurred as Trump was speaking out about GOP politics and his prescriptions for the nation,” the paper reported.
This was as far as the ultimate establishment organ was willing to push the story but you better believe every other Republican campaign — along with entire GOP establishment and confederates in the media punditocracy — pushed this story as absolute gospel that Mr. Trump would stick around only long enough to inflict maximum damage to Republicans to ensure victory for Hillary.
OK, so now that Mr. Trump is calling the ex-president a rapist, serial philanderer, stalker and abuser of women and he is calling out Hillary Clinton for her own abusive history toward women for savaging and discrediting all the women her husband schtupped. So, I guess now that, uh, first theory, is, uh, no longer operable?
Since then, the establishment shills have thrown every single imaginable accusation against Mr. Trump. Seriously, to hear Washington media types fret and wring their hands about how Mr. Trump is going to destroy America or that he will shred the Constitution is beyond mind-boggling.
First time I have ever heard any of these people worried about America. And, really? The Constitution? Where have they been the past seven years with this madman in the White House now taking scissors to the Constitution every chance he gets? And why did they spend years mocking the tea party crowd as a bunch of racists for wanting to, well, restore the Constitution?
Now comes the latest concerted onslaught against Mr. Trump. Turns out, he is not conservative!
You can almost hear these guys all getting together behind closed doors — everybody but Mr. Trump — conspiring to finally drive him from the race.
Jebulon Bush wears an exclamation point like an overgrown child wearing waterwings, yet still suffers from chronic low energy. He was the original GOP anointed-one, and the one most viciously beaten to a pulp by Mr. Trump. So he leads off the meeting.
“Guys, what are we going to do about Donald Trump? Hey, what if we accused him of not being — oh, what is that word our voter base is always carping about? Contended enough? Constipated enough? No, no, conservative enough! What if we all went out and said Donald Trump isn’t conservative enough! Nothing makes those right-wing crazies madder than that!”
So out comes Jeb!, swinging away at Mr. Trump with his flaccid exclamation point.
“If people think Donald Trump is a conservative, prove it to me. I mean, really,” Mr. Bush scolded voters in New Hampshire.
“Can you trust Donald Trump to actually be a conservative? I don’t think so,” he said, in a performance described as “animated” by Time magazine. “I think the conservative cause is worth fighting for.”
And now Republican hacks and operatives are coming out of the woodwork, boldly announcing that they will not vote for Mr. Trump if he is the party’s nominee. Because he is not a true conservative.
Seriously? From the very same Republicans who gave us the massive expansion of federal entitlements with their prescription drug giveaway? The same Republicans who gave us a trillion-dollar war in Iraq, charged entirely to American debt? The same Republicans who again and again have arranged to raise the debt limit instead of cutting spending?
I don’t know what kind of “conservatives” these folks think they are. But if they are assuring us that Donald Trump will be something different, then I say go with Donald Trump.
Charles Hurt can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and on Twitter via @charleshurt.