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Howie Carr: Attack of the Fake News – You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet

If you think the alt-left media is fully in the throes of Trump Derangement Syndrome now, just wait until Jan. 20.

Remember when George W. Bush was president and he couldn’t do anything right. And then along comes Barack Obama who couldn’t do anything wrong. Seldom – make that never – was heard a discouraging word, for eight long years.

When was the last time you saw a story about the national shame of homelessness? It was before Jan. 20, 2009, I guarantee you.

Do you doubt me? Yesterday, on a media website, a new job listing was posted by the Guardian: “Homelessness editor, SF.” If there’s an editor, that means there will also be reporters. Many reporters, most likely.

It’s very sad, the thought of millions of people suddenly being tossed out onto the street Jan. 19. But that’s what happens when AmeriKKKa elects a racist-xenophobe-homophobe-misogynist-nativist as president.

Just ask Paul Krugman and Tom Friedman.

The Trump presidency is going to be like Bush 43’s second term, only on steroids. The alt-left media, or what remains of it, is going to try to take him down, big-time.

Before the election, Clinton and Obama said he wasn’t a billionaire. Now their bumkissing media stooges say he’s too rich to be president. I just wish they could make up their minds why they hate him.

But we do know how the Democrat rumpswabs are going to attack him. It’ll be the same-old-same-old.

All the old knocks that are used only during GOP presidencies are about to be dusted off again. Quagmire. Jobless recovery. McJobs. Candlelight vigils. Code Pink.

For the first time in eight years, late-night “comedians” will take shots at the president.

The cost of presidential vacations – suddenly scandalous again. And how dare he play a round of golf during wartime?

Celebrity award shows will be even more obnoxious – if that’s possible.

Disasters caused by federal agencies will be news again. Remember the EPA’s toxic waste spill on the Animus River that runs through a Navajo reservation – probably not, because the alt-left media refused to embarrass Obama by covering it for even one second on the network newscasts.

Coming in early 2017: “Why hasn’t Trump cleaned up the Animus River yet? Is it because he hates Native Americans, racist bastard that he is?”

The State of the Union address will once more be fact-checked, in real time. All Trump assertions will get four Pinocchios, at least if the fact-checker knows what’s good for him.

Every U.S. casualty will again be a “grim milestone.” Think flag-draped coffins at Andrews.

Think drone strikes on “wedding parties.” Amazing how Obama’s Predator strikes never hit a single wedding party once in eight years.

Every Trump reform will become a “War,” as in “War on Children,” “War on the Elderly,” “War on the Environment.”

Every holiday will see a blizzard of stories about, “What do we tell the children?” It’s already started.

On Thanksgiving, the fake Indian, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, emailed that her 6-year-old grandson was terrified.

“Yesterday,” she wrote, “as I pulled out the bowls to start working on a cake, he asked in a low voice if we would still have Thanksgiving since Trump was elected. I said, yes, we would.”

Mighty white of you to say that, Senator, and I do mean white, as opposed to Native American.

Next, New Year’s: “He asked me, Granny Fauxchohantas, will we have any more New Years, once Trump gets the nuclear codes?”

Bumper stickers already being printed up: “He’s Not My President” and “Redefeat Trump.”

Presidential kids are no longer off limits. It’s back to Sarah Palin days, jokes about rapes in the infield at Yankee Stadium. These rats aren’t waiting for the inauguration. Rosie O’Donnell, this means you.

Endless segments with “constitutional law” professors on CNN: “Does this rise to the level of an impeachable offense?” (Answer: yes.)

Fastest growing job segment in the US: Republicans willing to say something, anything nasty about Trump.

Remember how dissent used to be the highest form of patriotism until Obama assumed office, at which point even the slightest criticism was “RACISM!!!”

It’s about to become the highest form of patriotism again. What was “hate speech” when attacking Obama will be speaking truth to power once more.

Headline: “GOP refuses to compromise.”

Headline: “Trump Climate Policies Blamed for Mass Extinction of 59,000 Endangered Species.”

Whistleblowers are about to become heroes once again, instead of criminals.

On the comeback trail: Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan.

Gitmo – a travesty once more.

Trump Hotels are the new Halliburton.

Gasoline prices rise two cents per gallon – OMG, get me a liveshot at the top of the 6!

In 2013, the failing MSM were ecstatic about the Senate Democrats ramming through the “nuclear option.” Damn those Republicans and their filibusters. Now the GOP is back in the saddle, and pajama-boy pundits in chi-chi Brooklyn will demand that we return to the wishes of the Founding Fathers and restore the 60-vote threshold.

Obama doesn’t appoint an inspector general for one of his many corrupt departments for three years – nothing to see here folks, move along.

Trump doesn’t appoint an inspector general for three days – impeach him! High crimes and misdemeanors!

Jill Stein gets a Profiles in Courage award.

A terrorist attack – Trump’s fault because of Islamophobia. A hurricane – Trump’s fault because he nixed the Paris climate change whatever. A mass shooting – Trump’s fault because he won’t support “commonsense” repeal of the Second Amendment.

Talk about fake news. But the alt-left media don’t care. They’ve got one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave, so they figure they might as well take Trump along with them.

Impeachment or Chap. 11 bankruptcy – which comes first for the failing alt-left media? My guess is, the later.

Howie Carr is a syndicated radio talk show host based in Boston. You can hear him at howiecarrshow.com. His latest novel, Killers, is available at Amazon.

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