Fake Crash Pilot Obviously Not a Movie Fan

Hey, Marcus Schrenker (formerly the missing pilot guy), what were you thinking? You want to disappear off the face of the earth and go into hiding, and this is how you do it? Let me get this straight; Your plan was to parachute from your jet aircraft, allow it to go down in flames in a residential area, ask a cop for directions, and check into a motel. Then, when you were caught, you were holding a road atlas and campground directory. Way to go “off the grid,” buddy.

This guy is an embarrassment to all men. Women probably don’t know this, but all of us have sketched out elaborate plans in our head as to what we would do if we ever had to go “dark” and vanish for a while. Don’t worry, we are not planning to, but we’ve got to be ready just in case.

Some guys would walk into the woods with nothing but a rucksack and a hunting knife, other guys would go the Swiss bank account/Jason Bourne route, just speed-walking around Europe occasionally having to deck effete policemen using Tae Kwon Do. Personally, I prefer the former, as I like to avoid confrontation.

But one thing you never, ever want to do is create such a splash with your escape method that it gets the attention of Greta Van Susteren and Nancy Grace. Show some subtlety, brother! You are giving us all a bad name. Remember the Scout motto: Be Prepared.

This is why men love escape movies, and why every man’s All Time Top Ten List contains at least three prison films. It’s all part of our mental preparation for the Worst Case Scenario.

I found myself talking about this on stage the weekend Paul Newman died:

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On Saturday nights in the west village in NYC, at a show called Moonwork, writers and comics come together to share ideas and stories. Anyone in the BH community-if you are ever in New York, please come and visit.


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