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Lonewolf Diaries: Being 21, Conservative and Marginalized (Thanks Obama)!


Firstly, let me say that I am nowhere near being egotistical enough to think you folks actually care about my life story. That being said, as a 21 year old conservative comedian/actor, I’m somewhat of a rarity. Like a spotted owl, or a coherent sentence from Robert Byrd, it’s just not something commonly observed. In light of this, I thought I’d use my extreme circumstances as a springboard for an open discussion. An open discussion on the challenges we all face as conservatives, as well as the decision to uphold our values, regardless. With Obama’s recent attempt to marginalize conservative ideals through his assault on Rush Limbaugh (and make no mistake, that’s what he’s doing), I can’t see a time more fitting.

As some of you may know from my video column, I am a comedian and actor. Yes it’s what I do for a living and no I don’t know how to wait tables. What many of you may NOT know, however, is that I, Steven Crowder … am a heretic. Since my mid-teens I have been banned and blacklisted from more comedy clubs and colleges than I care to count (not to mention the heated on-set conversations). One needs only take a peek at my YouTube channel to see the incredible hate mail received regularly from anonymous keyboard warriors. For a clean comedian working in a supposedly “open-minded” environment it’s shocking to hear, I know.

Whether it was being banned from an Austin comedy club for referring to Barack Obama as the “photo-negative of Alfred E. Newman,” or being forcefully escorted from a community college stage amidst a jovial rant on the gay pride parade during “Cultural Awareness Week”… I have been forced to deal with a painful reality time and time again.

When it comes to the entertainment industry, there is an unspoken policy: No Conservatives Allowed.

Sure, I could explain in graphic detail the grandeur of my sexcapades (this is hypothetical of course, as my sex life is non-existent), or go off an an anti-Christian tirade to much applause. If I were a dame, I would surely make insightful remarks about my monthly cycle and the shortcomings of men in the boudoir, all to critical accolades. Begin uttering the words “Muslim terrorism sucks,” however, and you will literally begin to hear the sound of sphincters puckering throughout your general vicinity.

I find myself entrapped in a generation of PC nutjobs, enlightened “college liberals” and unappreciative, self-loathing young Americans who hate their country simply because “Green Day” tells them to. This is all in the name of “tolerance” to be sure. The very fact that the artistic fringe can’t see this hypocrisy is both dumbfounding and proving of my point. Expect my weekly video column to discuss these common problems plaguing our younger generations, as well as addressing (and hopefully breaking) common cliche’s perpetuated by both sides of the spectrum. Now, I’m well aware that nobody is going to agree with everything I say, and that reading the rantings of a smug, barely legal, young whippersnapper such as myself may not be your cup of tea. I know full well and accept the fact that I will infuriate some (if not many) of you.

So before things inevitably veer off that way, I’d like to cut it off at the pass and discuss something that unites us… Something that we all share in a common bond, but is still characteristically unique for each of us.

My question to you is, when did YOU choose to become a conservative and how have you had to defend yourself for it? It’s clearly not an easy stance to take. So, what is it that drives you to protect your ideals? What do you see that gives you hope for your generation and future generations to come?

All sarcasm aside, I truly hope to see the unity that we need in order to take the great strides ahead of us.

God bless you and yours.

… And if you’re offended, because you don’t believe in God… Well screw you and the pack of sled dogs you rode in on!

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