LIVE-BLOGGING 24, Comments

In loving memory of Andrew’s youth, here we go…

Ok, so we’re late to the party. What are you going to do, set up a perimeter? This is the show I love, then love to hate, then actually hate, then come back to to see how much Kiefer’s drinking has wrinkled his face, because I also like to drink. Every year, it seems that Jack Bauer, the most bad-ass little man since Wolverine had his chest waxed and grew 8 inches into Hugh Grant, makes choices that put those he loves just slightly ahead of national security. Everyone else who does this pays for it dearly, often with the perp walk….but not Jack… SO FAR this season, Jack was compelled to come back from lovely Africa to face a Senate hearing about his…methods of interrogation. CTU is no more (which is good, as it was the single most penetrable security organization in the United States), but when the FBI comes calling for Jack’s help, it isn’t long before the old gang gets back together.

First we find Tony Almeda, whom we like to call Schlumpy, for his round-shouldered sensitivity. He’s rockin’ a goatee, still has amazing hair, and is apparently one of the bad guys…EXCEPT HE ISN’T ANYMORE! Schlumpy is back with the angels, in the form of modern dance versions of Old Man Buchanan and The Scowl (Chloe). The three of them are trying to save the world from super-secret evil that has infiltrated the U.S. Government, all paid for with African diamonds, which really helps in a recession. It’s a hard job for 3 people…but now they have a 4th, and his name, is Jack Bauer.

Oh, and there’s another very thin love interest for Jack. And the president is a woman. And her husband is kind of pathetic. And their son was killed for looking into the conspiracy. And his (former) fiancee is HOT and technically available. And the whole show centers around the most handsome African actor in the history of the world (we need a name for him) trying to get back his country from evil rebels…and a singular device. This device glows in a lovely blue, and can apparently do magic and is essentially more powerful than the entire United Stated military.

Sweet. Let’s roll people…live blogging – keep refreshing the page and jump in the comments and make fun!

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Quick update before we start – The hot fiancee is very dead, and currently NOT available.

9:09pm – The First Gentleman laid down the law, and now he just needs to lay down a little while.

9:12pm – Two Senegalese leaders trying to out-presence each other…very nice.

9:13pm – When did Tony shave?

9:15pm – Chloe has really nice hair this year, but has Old Man Buchanan even noticed?

9:17pm – Get ready for the Ohio Simpleton Players…

9:18pm – Garafalo certainly picked up some techspertise at Air America.

9:23pm – Ok, first political potshot…Madame Presiden’ts White House sems to be reacting more quickly than a certain perfect person’s is to the Kentucky ice storm…

9:24pm – Hey, TONY’S GOATEE IS BACK!

9:25pm – Oh yeah, Captain Ohio is going down with the ship.

9:28pm – Is it possible, does Garofalo scowl more than Chloe?

9:29pm – Oooh, some African militant is scared of Jack Bauer…

9:30pm – CIP, CIP, CIP!

9:32pm – Promos for American Idol during 24 are the most I ever see of that supposed cultural juggernaut.

9:35pm – I’m not a doctor, but bleeding out of the ears looks bad.

9:36pm – The CIP guy has not fallen into Stockholm Syndrome just yet.

9:37pm – Oops, poor CIP guy.

9:39pm – Crazy director guy from Entourage is the best actor at the FBI.

9:40pm – He. Had. A. Name! and it was John Bruhner.

9:48pm – Hey, Madame President seems a little compromised right now…bring back Powers Booth!

9:49pm – ALL female presidents have their husbands kidnapped, doesn’t everybody know that?

9:56pm – Perfect, let’s get Ethan in on this.

9:58pm – Oh, F#%k you, Jack. Schlumpy does not need to turn himself in. You weren’t going to until your hand was forced. Wait, is Jack kind of like an Obama appointee?

10:02pm – I’m going to go ahead and call that a lame episode. Maybe it was because I had to peck at these keys, but mostly, i think it was really lame.

10:04pm – Best part of the episode was the preview of next week. “You can trust me.” Good luck with that.

10:08pm – Well, that wraps up the first week of this experiment… easier than actually writing a thoughtful post, but I was hamstrung by the need to hold back my wit, lest I outshine and upset Iowahawk, who some people think is very funny. See you in the comments.