Lonewolf Diaries: "Christian Obama-Voters," The Ultimate Oxymoron

Firstly, this column is NOT designed to push any particular religion but is aimed at creating an objective discussion of theistic leftists, so all of you hedonistic, hellbound heathens can rest easy.

We’ve all heard it. Obama consistently professes to be a “committed Christian” and often describes the “importance of his faith.” Let me be the first to say that I’ve had plenty of friends from the “religious right” and have had quite a bit of time to observe their shenanigans. I’ve never once observed them claim to be Christians one second only to accuse their Christian brethren of “clinging to guns and religion” the next. I’ve also never watched them conduct a Bible study one minute only to moments afterward, go on a baby killing tirade (see the latest video).

Let’s just lay it out there. Most Christians tend to value the lives of the unborn, fight to preserve the “sanctity of marriage” and believe in personal freedom/limited government. Obama on the other hand, is radically pro-abortion, apathetic towards the definition of marriage and if allowed, would switch Mathew 22:21 to read; “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is… Well, let’s just give it all to Caesar and call it a day.”

Which makes me beg the question… Is ANYBODY buying it?

Even more ridiculous is when angry, liberal celebrities try and throw down the Christian card to veil their hateful, ill-timed remarks. Sean Penn (one of the single most vile, violently anti-Reagan/conservative celebrities to grace the business) often professes to be a man cut of the Christian cloth.

Yes folks, Sean would have you believe that he’s taking Communion in between punching out reporters and threatening us with “retirement.”

Sean, please… It’s embarrassing. I would sooner believe your laughably exaggerated listed height of 5’9 on IMDB than buy into the fantasy that is your Christian walk. You’re clearly a relativist and 5’2 with the right pair of shoes. You invoking the name of Christ is almost as silly as Hollywood Jews wearing their yarmulke to an “all you can eat” seafood buffet.

I will say however, that I’ve disturbingly witnessed what I like to call “Trendy Christians” pulling the lever for Obama in this last election. These are the type of Christians whom even atheists don’t respect. The type of Christians who allow their core values to be trumped by fads or the most recent P. Diddy campaign. The type of Christians whose misunderstanding of the New Testament is overshadowed only by his ability to discuss the “extreme Christian symbolism” amongst his sleeve of tattoos. I sincerely hope that in retrospect, they can now look at Obama’s first actions as president and pull a proverbial head slap reminiscent of a young Alvy Singer. We get it, young Christians. You were fooled by the packaged, messianic glow of the Obama campaign and we forgive you. Just don’t let it happen again, little buddies.

To all of you Conservatives out there (whether you’re Christian, Jewish, Buddhist or Atheist), I ask this: Do you see President Obama as the Christian that he claims to be? What about the “Sean Penn’s” of the world? When the far left claim themselves to be of the Christian ilk, do you believe them or see it as a shill used merely for political gain?

Personally, I say… Lock me in a racquetball court with Sean Penn. Give me five minutes.

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