'Last House On The Left': A Remake To Anticipate

The comments in yesterday’s “Melrose Trek” post ran about 9 to 1 against me, which begs the question of how so many can be so wrong…. Honestly, I don’t oppose remakes on some sort of general principle, it’s the meterosexualizing of iconic characters and lack of respect for the source material that galls, and if “Superman Returns” existed that would be my prime example of what can go so horribly wrong.

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This Friday comes a remake to look forward to; a do-over of Wes Craven‘s “Last House on the Left” (1972), one of the all-time classic horror flicks. Some have come close, but when it comes to the pure art of creating a sense of oppressive, grinding dread that stirs the guts with a spoon, there’s no other film like it. Just watching the trailer again (it’s only a movie, it’s only a movie, it’s only a movie…) gives me the willies, and anyone who knows me will tell you I don’t throw the word “willies” around lightly.

On the DVD commentary, listening to Craven explain the left-wing overtones he aimed for is nearly as entertaining as the film itself. Explain it all you want Wes, but all the blah-blah-blah in the world can’t change the fact that what we’re watching is hippies get theirs with a chainsaw, which is one lovely way to spend an evening — not unlike the many memorable evening’s spent re-running “Easy Rider’s” final moments.

In the horror department, Hollywood’s failure rate with remakes – at least when it comes to some of my favorites — isn’t so bad. Recent retreads of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “The Hills Have Eyes,” and “Dawn of the Dead” were all worth the price of admission, and along with “Last House on the Left” represent four of my five favorite 70’s horror classics.

For the record, number five is “Halloween” (1978) which Rob Zombie— …Well, unfortunately, for Lent I’ve given up both what needs saying about Mr. Zombie’s film and how to say it. We’ll talk after Easter.