Quick!!! While He's Outta the Country, Let's Change it Back to 'America'!!!!!!!

The Prez has flown to England and there’s only one thing to do while he’s gone: Let’s get our country back. Okay, it’s not going to be easy, there are a lot of hurdles. I’m pretty sure I can take Harry Reid, Chris Dodd, Chuck Schumer, Maxine Waters, and that puffball press secretary Gibbs. Multiple adversary bash-a-thon!!! Hai-Yah!!

Barney Frank I ain’t touchin’… I’m not a homophobe; I simply suffer from an irrational childhood fear of Elmer Fudd.

And Nancy Pelosi? I’m sending my friend Andrew Breitbart in to cross-check her hard into the glass. (I know he’s been dyin’ to get the go-ahead.) I am certain that if I confronted her, she would hit me with that death ray from those Neutronium eyeballs of hers…the same ones that hypnotize the Washington press corps into not busting up every time she opens her mouth.

But seriously, folks. I don’t know why anyone’s surprised. Obama for two years told us what he’s all about. Made it clear as day. And everyone just sort of…looked the other way. “Oh, he’s not a socialist! He’s just saying those things to keep the far left loonies happy. You watch, he’ll govern from the center.”

Oh really? Well, it’s been only two months and let’s take a look at what he’s done. (Everybody follow along, and please feel free to add anything I’m missing.)

Mr. Obama took Mr. Bush’s bad idea of hundred-billion dollar bailouts and ran with it – on steroids. When Bush’s bailout did nothing to revive the ailing economy, did our new president say, “Wait, that doesn’t work – let’s try something else.”

Uh…no. Instead he figured that because having taxpayers borrow hundreds of billions of dollars from Communist China and handing it over to banks, insurance companies and auto giants to ‘stimulate’ economic activity didn’t do any of that…why he should just go ahead and quadruple the amount and try again! That outta do it!

Then, more than half of his cabinet appointees turn out to be either tax cheats or plagued with scandal. (The same people who are hell-bent to raise our taxes and ‘keep us honest’.)

Obama goes on You Tube and does a touchy-feely Neville Chamberlain appeasement stance with Iran’s Ahmadinejad, a man from a culture who views such behavior as weak and womanly (sorry – it’s actually an insult to women to call Barry womanly; my wife could kick his ass), doing a pathetic Rodney King “C-c-can we…can we just get along?” with the Iranian psychopath.

Then, his choice for Treasury Secretary, the one man, apparently, uniquely suited to fix the ailing economy, Tim Geithner, lays out plans to regulate all of American business; and in effect, give the Obama administration carte blanche power to inject it’s will directly into any private business it deems necessary, and for any reason whatsoever.

So…let’s get this into perspective. The guys from government, the people who can’t make the post office run well, the folks who have never owned a business themselves…are now going to oversee, regulate, and in essence meddle with the mainspring of American progress – private businesses.

Just yesterday, Mr. Obama took that little power adjustment for a spin – and promptly fired the head of General Motors. Did he consult with the stockholders in a hastily constructed shareholders’ meeting? Take a vote? Ask for comments? Show of hands?

No.

Too bad the phrase “a confederacy of dunces” is already taken, or I’d be tempted to use it here.

But …we’re told by the press there’s a “crisis of unprecedented proportion”, one that “the markets can’t fix.” And my fav… “only the Federal government can fix this crisis.” Reminds me of Ronald Reagan’s nine most terrifying words in the English language, “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.” (Also – Jackie Chan getting his ass kicked in Shanghi Noon, and Owen Wilson, trying to help, making it worse, and Chan shouts, “Stop helping me!!”) That’s what the American taxpayer is feeling like screaming right now – “Stop helping me!!!!!!”

Obama is a typical Big Government Goon. The typical BGG has a standard way of dealing with problems. (And make no mistake, any sort of problem, once it can be stretched and twisted into the concept of being a ‘crisis’, represents one thing, and one thing only: An opportunity to control, for the ultimate goal to gain personal Power.)

Yes, we underestimated his ambition. We didn’t think he’d really do all the things he said he was going to do. (well…in our defense, nothing he said he was going to do was very specific. Mostly generalities about hope and ‘change’…yeah, close Gitmo…get us out of Iraq…no time limits, but yeah, that was specific.) But he really meant it that he was going to change this country. Just… no one actually believed he meant he was going to change this country into something completely unrecognizable from anything we’ve ever known. (At least those of us who have never lived behind the Iron Curtain, or known the horrors of a despotic dictatorship.)

But look at who Obama’s mentors have been all his life – A Black liberation theologist, Reverend Wright… two avowed Marxists, Saul Alinsky and Noam Chomsky… and an unrepentant terrorist bomber, Bill Ayers. Obama came up through the ranks of the Chicago political system, the most corrupt group of hacks, con artists and extortionists in the country. And rather than learning the American dream in the business community, Obama learned how to intimidate, manipulate, and scam the system as a ‘Community Organizer’. (This term, for reasons unclear to this columnist, seems to hold some sort of nobility, carrying with it a misplaced virtue that is the substance of…smoke. And mirrors.)

So, the good B. Hussein Obama organized within the communities. But, organized them…to do what exactly? Find funds. Get money. Guilt various businesses and branches of government to yield to white guilt and cough up some dough. And thus, noble and honorable organizations such as ACORN come into existence. Strong-arming and intimidation raised to an art form.

But I think Barry is not content. As arrogant and audacious as he’s already proven to be, I believe we ain’t seen nuthin’ yet, sports fans. No…just as we underestimated the amount of damage he wished to inflict (I’m sorry – social engineering and progress) upon our Constitution, our traditions, our entire American way of life…there’s more to come.

And it’s not going to be pretty.

We apparently are in the most catastrophic economic crisis ever in the history of mankind. But ya know? I drove on the freeway this morning and it was pretty full. People driving their clean, shiny cars off to work. Dressed nicely, smiling, going about their day. I saw people shopping in the stores. They’re going out to dinner. They’re ordering online. Commerce is happening. I do not see hundreds of people begging in the streets. I have not heard about a single food riot. No cardboard box cities sprouting up. Door-to-door begging? Lawlessness in the streets? Okay, so it’s a little harder to borrow money, a little harder to refinance your house, or get a loan to buy a new car.

So what??

Does this ‘crisis’ justify transforming the most successful nation in the history of mankind into some socialist Euro-trash model of twisted central-authority collectivist oligarchy??

My fellow Americans…all I can say now is…

Quick! Before he gets back. Let’s do it! We’ve only got eight days. He’s going on a five-country Apology Tour, meeting with countries upset over 1) the Iraq War, and 2) treatment of enemy combatants at Gitmo. He’s got a lot of groveling and appeasing to do, but he’s coming back in just over a week, so we’ve got to act fast! He’s already screwed this nation up almost beyond recognition, and it won’t be easy. We’ve got to restore our country so that Liberty, not government is the predominant force. We must re-institute Capitalism as the primary engine of Freedom, and put government back into its proper role – an institution that works for us, not against us.

Breitbart — Hit Pelosi high, she’ll go down like bag of used condoms. And don’t worry about Barney Frank…I think Lou Ferrigno is going to go have a little ‘chat’ with him.

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