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Lonewolf Diaries: Time to Body Check Obama


I was back in junior high when my dad used this unforgettable analogy: “The role of the government is similar to that of a hockey referee. His job is to keep the players safe and keep the pace of the game. No more, no less.”

Granted, my dad was really just trying to simplify an explanation for me amidst a time in my life where I’d rather be lighting my own flatulence than engaging in true political discourse, but looking back… I realize that my father is a genius! Step aside Thomas Edison and Guy-who-invented-PopTarts, there’s a new sheriff in town.

The simple, yet brilliant description should be one of the “go to” weapons in any conservative’s quiver when it comes to debating the left. See, liberals hate it when you have a firm grasp on the role of government and more importantly, the founding fathers original intent. It makes their run-around, situational ethics a lot harder to peddle. Now of course using the “hockey referee” analogy may be blatantly Canadian of me, so for all you Southerners just replace “hockey” with “football”, and if you’re gay…. “Soccer.”

Now let’s break the analogy down for a second:

“His job (it’s purpose) is to keep the players (we the people )safe…” – The government’s first function (and arguably its only legitimate one) is to protect its citizens. This includes both external (thank you, United States Military!) and internal threats (thank you, police officers who’ve been continuously demonized by the leftist media!). Understanding this basic principle helps one swat down the comparisons liberals will try to draw between their ideals of intrusive government and things like “The Patriot Act.”

All you have to do is point to the Constitution and the first function of government… And while they’re distracted, be sure to strike them in the groin area.

Congratulations, you’ve now scored two valid points.

“…To keep the pace of the game (to maintain “flow” and allow the market to regulate itself)” – This one is important. A hockey referee keeps the pace of the game not only by enforcing the rules, but more importantly by KEEPING HIS WHISTLE IN HIS POCKET. See, that’s key. The referee is not supposed to hover, or have the whistle permanently clenched between his lips in an attempt to intimidate the players. As a matter of fact, the referee isn’t even supposed to call any minor penalties that don’t pertain to direct action around the puck. In hockey, if it’s an “incidental” penalty (ie: a victimless crime or bad personal choice) then it’s of no concern to the referee. This is of course why I picked hockey for my analogy and not a sissified sport like baseball. How a “man” can be a baseball fan, I’ll never know.

If our government were to put its “whistle in its pocket” (or in our case, just stop blowing it for one second), the market would be able to find its groove and eventually establish a quick pace and efficient flow.

The funny thing is that this simple analogy shows us that today’s leftists are wrong about the role of government on ALL counts.

The one legitimate function of government (our military and law enforcement) are the only branches that libs consistently and vehemently oppose. I’m guessing a liberal analogy would read something like this.

The role of a referee is not to keep the players safe, but to control the scoreboard. The final score of the game is up to the referee’s judgment and to be be administered fairly. The only time he is allowed to call a penalty is when a player is playing too well for his own good.

Who in their right mind, would pay to watch a game like that?!

Well… Sean Penn doesn’t count.

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