So Tuesday, the Pakistani Taliban decided that it wants a peace deal – kind of like the one they had originally before they ramped up killing and maiming people in awful ways (which to them, is basic yard work). And then, quickly and appropriately, they got their hairy asses handed to them on a goat.
No wonder, they’re up for a truce!
And here we find another lesson on how the world really works: When it come nuts, truces suck. There should only be victory for one side, and defeat on the other. The “other” being the nuts, of course.
Anyone mildly aware of history knows that truces mean nothing to people consumed by fanatic ideology. As a resident fool, I’m willing to suggest it’s the very unwillingness to compromise that makes them fanatics! (And vice versa.) The Taliban, for example, want their Sharia law, along with their unmanageable beards, their institutionalized abuse of women and gays, their barbaric notions of justice – and nothing is ever going to shake this twisted grim world view from their lice infested heads.
Well, there is one way.
Death.
The latest round of fighting eliminated roughly 1,100 Taliban from our pleasant, noisy orb – a development that transcends all language barriers and religious differences. The simple ultimatum – “stop hurting people or face death” – is the only way you can talk to freaks who hate you and want you dead. In this strange new world, it helps to be reminded of this: that while the symbolism of an “unclenched fist” soars in speeches, it makes little impact when you want to hit someone.
Tonight we’ve got Remi Spencer, Monica Crowley, comedian Greg Proops, actor Constantine Maroulis, and showman Jeff Beacher!
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