Another 'Transformational Moment' — The Cyber-Czar is Born!

Call me paranoid, but…

I was wondering when the government was going to make its move on the Internet. There’s a whole lot of commerce going on, a lot of communication, a lot of people talking to each other, building their businesses and enjoying their lives.

So naturally, they’re going to want to tax it.

Apparently, we have another crisis afoot. Our digital networks and computer systems are at risk. (Well, duh – where has the President been for the past decade?) And of course, the Obama administration’s answer to this serious threat…is to consolidate more central power by creating a new department and appointing a ‘cyber-czar.’ Man, I feel safer already. My chest swells with pride. A thrill runs up my leg.

Obama calls this threatened system our ‘digital-infrastructure’. (And nothing that contains the word ‘infrastructure’ can ever be denied funding. That would be anti-American in this post-modern, post-reason world of Obamaland.)

That seems to be President Obama’s answer to everything – more centralized power. Run everything through Washington, D.C. Cyber-threats? Let’s form a new department in Washington. Economy on a cyclic downturn? The Federal government will unravel it and make it all better. Health Care costs too high? Let’s nationalize the entire system and run everything through Congress. Problems solved, everything’s fixed, now we can sleep easy at night.

But check this out! In order to better understand the thinking behind the Big-O’s big borrowing, big spending, and big, bigger and biggest government… I purchased Obama-Shades online. They look like regular sunglasses, only cooler. And they’re sort of like BluBlocker glasses (that block out U.V. light). These have a new technology called SmartBlocker, which blocks out all smart ideas. I put them on and WOW! The blues are bluer…thinking Green is easier…Marxism suddenly rocks…and I feel good about everything the Democrats propose. Republicans look like hateful, drooling, racist homophobes through the Obama-Shades. But I’m cool; I’m walking around with Obama-Shades, I’m hip and happening, the good guys are in power, and even Sean Penn makes sense. In fact, I just feel good about…feeling good. And that’s all that matters. I’m in Obamaland.

Okay, I’ve taken them off now. I was suddenly overcome with the desire to smoke a bong load and have beers with Keith Olbermann and Janine Garofalo; but I immediately threw up, checked myself into the clinic for a colonoscopy, and then came home and read some Krauthammer. I’m feeling much better now.

Call me paranoid, but does it seem to anyone else that Big Brother is creeping into literally every aspect of our lives? I know we have a national crisis virtually every ten minutes, and Barry ‘the Messiah’ Obama can easily turn waterboard into whine. But come on!! Does this guy ever sleep? Every day I awaken to a new ‘program’ of the President’s that is going to ‘take care’ of us and ‘protect’ us from some new crisis. And as anyone knows who has been paying attention the past fifty years or so (All right, I’ve only been paying attention the last thirty years, but I read history.)…every new government program costs us each dearly in the form of higher taxes, greater debt and reduces Liberty in the form of new laws, regulations and restricted freedoms.

President Obama, when commenting upon his administration’s first four months, was quoted as saying, “You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Sadly…I believe him.

So here we are, with yet another department of the government, the ‘Cyber-Czar’, created to deal with some supposed crisis. No doubt this new department will expand into something which sounds sooo legitimate and necessary, and of course, end up bloated, ineffectual, and unnecessary. It’ll be called something snappy and officious like the “Department of Digital Communication and Internet Commerce Regulation”. Or maybe Obama calls an audible and it’s a play-action pitchout to Pelosi: the “Congressional Cyber-Resource and Digital Oversight Committee”. Hundreds of millions, maybe billions of dollars will soon be allocated to ‘serve’ the American public by overseeing, monitoring, regulating, and oh yes, taxing all Internet activity.

For you Doubting Thomas’s…I remind you of the President’s own words today: “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

But there’s certainly nothing to worry about; it’s all just to keep us safe, dontcha know. I’m reminded of a certain clandestine group of Italian origin that used to approach businesses, and entreaty the proprietors to pay them monthly for ‘security’. When the business owner refused to pay, they lost a window, were beaten up, or had their store mysteriously burn to the ground. The message was clear: Let us ‘protect’ you. Pay up…or else.

Some of you may say I’m nuts. The government would never try to move in and start taxing something we already get for free. But consider this: You already pay an Internet provider. Fifteen to twenty, to thirty bucks a month, right? Or it’s packaged with your HD entertainment package … Verizon … Comcast … whatever? The government can simply start taxing them. Then, out of necessity, they pass this charge along to you in the form of higher monthly ‘fees’. Comb through your Internet bill, they’re probably already doing it now. (If you can decipher their gov-speak codes.) Another thing: A lot of Internet purchases, if out of state, are tax-free. Look for that practice to end soon. Remember the government credo: If money is being passed around, get your cut – tax it. If something is being exchanged, tax it. If people are living their lives, tax them, the greedy bastards. If it moves, walks or crawls, tax it, tax it some more, turn around, do the hokey pokey and tax the living hell out of it. And that’s what it’s all about.

But we’ll rest easy because Barack Obama is looking out for us.

I hate to rock the happy collectivist boat, but none of that helps me sleep easy at night. In fact I am growing increasingly more and more angry at how swiftly this new bunch of legislators, headed up by the Big-O himself, is spreading its ever-encroaching tentacles into our daily lives. It seems less and less a distant can’t-happen-here fiction of having government-mandated ‘security’ cameras in every room, monitoring our private lives…for subsequent prosecution of hate speech and insurrection, lest we not align ourselves to the fashionably and politically correct.

Is it really such a stretch from ‘hate speech’ to thought police?

The Leftists’ unforgivably naïve dream of the nanny state, womb-to-tomb coddling and ‘caring’ utopia is daily becoming a clear and present danger/reality. The land of the free and home of the brave will soon become a fondly-remembered anecdote, unless citizens who love freedom and honor our Constitution stand up and fight to stop its systematic disembowelment.

But I’m probably just being paranoid.

The President said today in the Washington Post: “Our pursuit of cyber security will not — I repeat, will not include — monitoring private networks or Internet traffic.” So what would a right-wing Conservative like me ever have to fear from the Obama administration? Even if I don’t ‘get my mind right’? Nothing, I’m sure. After all, these are ‘historic times…of transformational moments’.

What’s that sound? Can you hear that? Is that a helicopter circling?


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