From the Vast Business Mind of President Obama

Barack Obama yesterday announced that auto giant General Motors has failed to take the restructuring steps necessary to remain viable and solvent. They will enter into chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Don’t we wish we’d seen that coming before we loaned them 70 billion)?

The President sited his vast experience in business management and corporate restructuring. He pointed to the fact that he has built twelve companies from the ground up, managed seventeen others, and brought them out of the red into profitability, and…and…

Oh wait – wrong Obama. I’m thinking of Fred Obama… out of Connecticut. Inventor of Cheez-Whiz, Fruit Loops, colorable place mats, and Boog-Stop, the pocket nose-hair trimmer. Fred Obama… of the Connecticut Obama’s.

Oops — my bad.

TOTUS, (Teleprompter of the United States) gave a stirring and charismatic speech today, much like it gave yesterday and the day before. In fact, I do believe TOTUS has given speeches every day of its reign.

But as the President today read from the teleprompter, he sounded so knowledgeable as he faulted GM for not coming up with a viable restructuring plan to avoid bankruptcy. As Mr. Obama expertly read his statements, alternating between prompters, going back and forth so as to give the impression that he’s addressing the audience in a truly inclusive manner, he sounded so sure that they had not taken the steps necessary to bring this automotive giant out of a crippling debt and rebound into its former strength.

He actually sounded like he knew what the hell he was talking about.

And yet I sat screaming at the screen, “What do you know about business, Mr. Obama??!!? What does your business experience and acumen consist of other than community agitating, oops, I mean ‘organizing’? What the hell do you know about it, but what you read on you teleprompter that Tim Geithner wrote? A bunch of liberal Keynesian economists gather, stitch a report together, careful to remain vague and non-specific, and sound like all is well. We’re not going to devalue the dollar, we’re not going to monetize the debt; our Federal Reserve is rock solid. Don’t worry, my peeps. We’re taking care of you!

Go back to sleep.

No…actually President Obama only sounds like he has a clue about business. When, in his illustrious career of pandering, making speeches, posturing, photo-opping, and campaigning, has he ever actually worked within the machinations of a capitalistic enterprise? When has he ever run a real business??

And yet he is dictating how one of the largest corporations in the world is to be run. “Hey, I gave them a bunch of money, I own them.” (Okay, it’s really taxpayers’ money, but what’s a few billion between friends?)

Yes I can. Cuz we won.

‘Audacity’ does not cover it. Arrogant… pompous…disingenuous. None of these words quite describe the full essence of this president. We need a new word to describe President Barack Hussein Obama.




Make up your own, let’s have a contest. Winner gets a billion dollars. I’ll call Beijing, get the paperwork started.

So the decisions in this new fascism business arrangement are set. The government (our dollars, their decisions) will own 60% of the auto giant. That’s right…60%.

Controlling interest.

The fact is…everything this president does is about control. Though he reassures us that this is never the case; it’s always the case. But this seizing of control is always, as he puts it, ‘to protect us’. He has no interest in dictating or controlling or managing. As he then proceeds to dictate and control and manage.

He is the Disinformer-in-Chief.

The president is lying through his teeth. And because he has a nice smile and a charming manner…we overlook this? We give him a pass? Has Bush Derangement Syndrome gripped the American populace into some sort of mass hypnotic psychosis?

But the GM CEO took to the cameras today and reassured that the restructuring plan will work. It will be hard. It will require ‘sacrifices’. . But it will be dedicated to making smaller cars. It will innovate ‘green’ technology to make better-mileage, more environment-friendly cars. It will make cars that provide high wages and provide comprehensive health and retirement benefits to union employees. It will make cars that the President has told us we need to be making to help save the planet.

You know…cars that people don’t want to buy.

But if you don’t want to buy the cars they’re making, the government is going to Change your mind. You see…you need to get your mind right. You need to be convinced that it’s in your best interest to let the government make the important decisions for you. Decisions like deciding which sort of car to drive. What sort of light bulb you use. What extent you must go to by recycling and, hence, save Planet Earth. What sort of health care they think you should have. What food you can buy. Where you can travel. What school you’re allowed to attend. What sort of profession you may ‘choose’ for yourself.

Oh, I’m sorry. I apologize again. I was thinking of Communist China.

It’s easy to get them confused with us. Hey, even the Russians are catching on to what’s happening in our country.

What was once proclaimed to be the ‘most transparent administration in American history’ has proven to be merely the most media-visible. Obama-fatigue has gone critical within the ranks of the Right, but Lefties undoubtedly have a much higher tolerance for the current shenanigans. If not to simply prop up ‘their guy’, they have self-important sensibilities of righteousness to protect. And protect them they will, like a mother lion with her cubs. When things begin to unravel with the President, as they invariably do with socialists, the Media will circle the slogans and bite back hard at the dissension. There will be vitriol and incendiary epithets hurled as a matter of course. All lovers of freedom and liberty will be identified and ‘outted’ as Racists…. Homophobes… Sexists… Haters.

And this is when the government will intervene. Lead by the ACLU and supported by the President’s NewSpeak in a still-fawning and sycophantic MainStream Media, the dissenters will be thrown into a web of legal entanglements this country has never seen. Fortunes will be taxed, fined and eradicated. Personal savings accounts and family nest-eggs will be sucked dry by legal defense expenses. For you see, the government has a blank check for legal expenses. You, who oppose the Obama Machine, will eventually be brought down by a Death of a Thousand Legal Cuts.

“This is the greatest country on earth. Now please join with me and help me change it.” — Barack Obama in a campaign speech, ’08

They’re changing our government. They’re ignoring our Constitution. They’re changing ‘free’ enterprise. They’ll soon be changing our health care system. They’re changing the language. They’re changing the meaning of the word ‘change’. In fact, from now on, every time you hear the word ‘change’ — feel free to substitute in the word ‘destroy’. ‘Or ‘abolish’. ‘Eradicate’. ‘Undo’. ‘Do-away-with’.

Destruction we can believe in?

Wake up America. The water’s getting hotter. Will we jump out of the pot before it’s too late? Or will we boil to death?

This is only the beginning. The President hasn’t even trotted out Nationalized Health Care. (Socialized medicine to those of us paying attention.) I believe it was Alfred E. Neuman who once quipped, “It is thoroughly impolite to toss a drowning man an anchor.” If I were a cartoonist, I’d sketch the boat-side scene with the drowning man as our economy and the anchor as ‘National Health Care’.

It’s coming — all of it. Every lunatic fringe Leftist wet dream conjured up out of radical ’60’s pot smoke. Hey, when I was a hippy-dippy, doobie-toking college student…yeah, I could see it. It all made sense.

But when I became a man, I put away childish things. And childish ideas.


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