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Troopathon 2009: We Really Do Love Care Packages


I got a phone call yesterday from my buddy who is currently commanding a combat arms battalion in Iraq. Things are calm – at least, they were yesterday. He’ll be coming home in the next few months just as a bunch of other folks I know will be going over themselves. And I know there’s another ungodly hot and shooty place in my future too.

Just because our fighting men and women disappeared from the nightly news and off the front pages does not mean that the war is over. Far from it – there are hundreds of thousands of Americans out there right now, and that’s easy to forget when all the media is talking about are cheating governors and Perez Hilton beatdowns.

That’s why supporting Troopathon 2009 is key. Every package is a loud and clear message to our people that we remember them, we honor them, and that we will not forget them.

And the stuff is awesome. Let me tell you, speaking as a guy who has been out there, this is a Grade-A care package. We’re talking Boca Java Gourmet Coffee – a great alternative to the denatured jet fuel we usually end up drinking in the field. It has Oreo Cookies, Apple Cider mix, Beef Jerky, Planters Trail Mix … this is quality stuff.

I’m partial to the Jelly Belly jelly beans – those were President Reagan’s favorite, of course, which only makes them better. A pack slips right into one of the pouches on your body armor, so you can quickly pop one into your mouth as you do your business. And there’s another benefit – passing candy out to the local kids wins you friends. That pays off when on the next pass through town that little kid you gave a handful of candy warns you about the five strangers with AK-47s waiting to ambush you down the road.

And, of course, the deodorant, wet wipes and foot powder are key – you get pretty funky out there in that sun, and I don’t mean James Brown funky.

You can send a note too, and let me help you with that because some folks wonder what they should say. You just tell that Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine or Coast Guardsman in your own words just how you feel about him or her and what he or she is doing. Don’t worry about fancy language or trying to make it perfect. Say what you feel and you’ll make their day. Military people have the world’s most highly-tuned BS detectors – they’ll understand and appreciate whatever you say as long as it’s from the heart.

So, let me switch to light colonel mode – move that mouse to Troopathon 2009 and make it happen, Trooper! That’s an order.

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