It's the End of the World As We Know It, and Michael Moore's Cashing In

Michael Moore is a big fat idiot — or, is he? Actually, he is a big fat Academy-Award winning capitalist who is making a movie sarcastically called “Capitalism: A Love Story.” In it, he’ll use his magical megaphone to expose, in his words, “an economic system that is unfair, it’s unjust and it’s not democratic. And now we’ve learned it doesn’t work.” So… will he also park his little white ice cream truck in front of movie theaters and chastise patrons who wish to pay for a ticket? Will he offer the film for free — perhaps even share part of the proceeds with all of us? Of course not, he’s a millionaire.

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We’ve seen this film many times before from Mr. Moore. The Bush years were kind to him as he tapped into the fears of Americans as they questioned the post 9-11 world, or worried whether there were bogey men hiding in the front offices of America. Now, he’s able to exploit the recession and all the hardships we endure in one great big Mike Moore spectacular! In Moore’s world, free enterprise is unfair, health care is unfair, the 2nd amendment is unfair, life is unfair, paychecks, layoffs, mortgages and democracy itself is unfair — and America is the bad guy.

While I was in the thick of working on media for George W. Bush’s re-election campaign, Fahrenheit 9/11 was released. A twenty-something who had been working for me went to see it one weekend. Thoughts raced through my head: “Was he a Michael Moore fan?” “does he really believe Moore’s outrageous conspiracy theories?!” These thoughts quickly vanished when he strolled in the next morning and said, “My friends and I laughed. It was kinda funny — nobody actually believes all that crap.” Just another way to blow off some time on a Saturday night, go have some chuckles (after all it’s only sarcasm, which is the only way I can explain John Stewart’s popularity, come to think of it).

Let’s face it: Moore is one of the most successful documentary filmmakers of all time. But he’s done it by becoming the P.T. Barnum of the left, if you will. In the end, Moore’s message is just another second-rate side show for suckers-born-every-minute. And, boy, do those suckers buy tickets! No worries, though — his over-the-top, skewed sensibilities are usually a bridge too far for most Americans. He’s regularly exposed by critics as horribly cherry picking his facts and heavily manipulating interviews. Moore’s stale formula is all so predictable, he even said it himself: “This issue informs all my other movies. I started thinking if I can only make one more movie – I started thinking this of course during the Bush years – what would that movie be?” Why, to insult America, of course! Bravo Michael Moore, you’ve outdone yourself again!

It’s all fine and dandy for Moore — he spends his spare time directing music videos for best-selling chart toppers like Rage Against the Machine and R.E.M. He’s sending his kid to private school. He owns a couple of homes. His speaker’s fees for preaching the ills of capitalism usually runs tens of thousands of dollars per speech. And, sure, he can spot a greedy capitalist when he sees one — they’re his neighbors. He wrote, “I walk among them. I live on the island of Manhattan, a three-mile-wide strip of land that is luxury home and corporate suite to America’s elite….. Those who run your life live in my neighborhood.” Gee, Mike — next time you bump into them at the clubhouse, tell ’em all us little people said ‘hi.’

Now, Moore works the glitterati circuit in Venice, Italy hobnobbing and schmoozing the press. He reveals his capitalism slam-piece may be his last documentary. Can we be so lucky? But of course! Moore wants to direct features — after all, everyone knows that’s where the real money is!

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