9:00 AM:
Crawl out of bed, go downstairs and hit the “on” switch for my Anger Manufacturing Plant, located conveniently in the basement — right next to my wine cellar.
9:10 AM:
Sign a few five-figure checks from the big drug and insurance companies and instruct Consuela to go deposit them in my bank account.
9:30 AM:
Go back to sleep with my life-sized Founding Fathers dolls, dream of freedom from the socialist Obama regime.
10:00 AM:
Wake up due to the noise created by the lawn crew with their jobs, and work on the astroturf. Smile and realize how much this must anger liberals.
10:05 AM:
Crawl over the 1,000 printed pages of the ObamaCare bill and yell at the lawn boys. Tell them to hurry because we will begin drilling for oil in the yard, any minute now.
12 PM:
Wake up again. The drilling has begun in my backyard. Consuela is crying because she found an oil coated baby seal beached by the koi pond.
12:05 PM:
Retrieve the baby seal for processing in the Anger Manufacturing Plant.
1:10 PM:
Prank call Princess Pelosi’s cellphone, suggesting new and innovative ways she might want to alter her face using “green technology” and stimulus dollars.
1:15 PM:
Let the shower run for a long time until the water is good and hot. Turn up the central air and open a few windows because it’s a bit too steamy in the bathroom.
1:45 PM:
Call other right-wing extremists, find out if they want to be extreme today, (they do) and set up a meeting at the range.
2:05 PM:
My driver takes me to target practice in the Hummer. While cruising on the freeway, toss 500 Obama Joker posters out the window. Laugh maniacally.
3:29: PM:
Rifle through my closet and discover I mainly have clothing that would give me away as “well dressed” and therefore a highly paid lackey of the blogs, drug companies and insurance giants.
4:00 PM:
Visit the local Goodwill store to find sloppy clothing, such that a liberal might wear.
4:00-5:00 PM:
Spend time in the Moxtopia business office, boxing and preparing my manufactured anger for shipment to various extremist elements on the east coast.
5:15 PM:
Receive instructions from my contact at the drug company for tomorrow’s Town Hall Meeting.
5:18 PM:
Tell him I am doubling my rate and prefer to be paid in cash. Tax dollars kill babies through abortion, I remind him. And babies need drugs too.
5:50 PM:
Purchase a second Hummer using “Cash for Clunkers”. Just in case the first is out of gas.
6:00 PM:
Make a “Wise Latina” joke to Consuela, while snitching on myself to flag@whitehouse.gov, detailing my own “fishy” ideas about ObamaCare.
6:59 PM:
Recognize people all over the world are still suffering from socialism and communism.
7:01 PM:
Wonder if any in the Obama regime might be convinced — in the interest of fixing the fake global warming catastrophe – to melt down and recycle the iron fist of communism, because capitalism is a much more efficient manner of making sure everyone has money.
7:50 PM:
Realize the iron fist of communism will remain intact and sitting on the mantel in the flag@whitehouse.gov office.
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