Sarah Palin: The Horror Movie

I make horror movies for a living. I’ve produced, written or directed zombie movies, werewolf movies, alien invasion movies, vampire movies, serial killer movies, freaky Frankenstein movies and yes, a film about giant, mutant whooping cranes (links may be NSFW). I’ve studied, analyzed and researched how to scare people.

Clearly, if I want to scare leftists, all I have to do is hold up a picture of Sarah Palin.

Of course, the leftists will assure you that they aren’t scared of Sarah Palin. Why would they be? She’s dumb. She’s goofy. She hasn’t brushed up on the real issues. She’s a quitter. She’s not a real contender.

Whatever. After that Tea Party speech half of the DNC had to check to see if they’d wet their pants. Her book tour was more disturbing to them than the “spider walk” scene in “The Exorcist”.

But why? What makes her so scary?

If pressed, the leftists will tell you that they fear her beliefs and what they perceive her policies to be. She will take away women’s right to choose. She will ban books. She will outlaw homosexuality. She will mandate religious beliefs. She will nuke Arab countries.

When making horror films, we always start with a basic concept. In that initial stage, we will decide whether or not the film will be “fantasy horror” or “realistic horror”. A film about vampires is fantasy. A film about a normal looking guy who kills young college girls is more grounded in reality.

The fear of Sarah Palin is like the fear of ghosts, vampires, or werewolves. Pure fantasy (Please note that I didn’t include alien invasion or zombie apocalypse as fantasy because, well, those things could actually happen).

Most of these predictions of doom and gloom under a Palin regime aren’t based on any sort of facts. Palin never banned Harry Potter books. Palin vetoed an Alaskan law that would have barred the state from granting benefits to the partners of gay state employees. Palin is personally pro-life, but as governor actually refused to extend deliberation on two anti-abortion bills presented by the state legislature.

There are a lot of plot holes in the narrative. So what are they really afraid of?

What they fear is that Palin would actually stick to fiscally conservative principles. She would reform the tax laws to make them fair and rational. She would clip the influence of labor unions. She would end the unholy alliance of Big Government and Big Business. She may actually extend women’s rights to choose to include how they spend their money, where they send their kids to school, and what caliber handgun they want to buy.

Scary stuff indeed.

History shows that the boogeymen presented by the left against conservatives are always flights of fancy. We’ve had more conservative leaders than leftist ones since Roe v. Wade and last time I checked it was still legal to have an abortion. We had a born again Christian in the White House for eight years and we don’t have mandated school prayer. Despite a Reagan presidency, being gay isn’t a crime.

On the flip side, when we warn about the dangers of giving the leftists the purse strings, we’re right. I think there were more than a few conservative musings about how an Obama presidency will lead to a bunch of radicals hanging out in the oval office, an increase in taxes and regulations, a decrease in liberty, and a tanking economy. All of which are, unfortunately true.

Where are these creatures of leftist nightmares born? They come from their own subconscious. They are manifestations of leftist projection. Conservatives may have strong personal convictions, but their overriding world view dictates a minimum of government intervention. Leftists are the ones who seek to use the apparatus of government to impose their personal, social views on the rest of society. That notion is antithetical to conservative principles. Look at Global Warming hoax-master Al Gore. His entire daily agenda is based on telling others how to live. Oh, and his dad voted against the Civil Rights act and his wife led the charge to censor rock and roll.

Who’s creepy now?

Leftists are sneaky smart. They can’t beat conservatives on ideas because most people agree with conservative principles. Small government, lower taxes, less entitlements, the list goes on and on. So, like good horror film writers, the left creates monsters that tap into deep seeded emotional fears. Like a good ghost movie, these stories are scary as hell, but not very real.

The chances of a President Sarah Palin ushering in a new age of Puritanism are about as real as the threat of mutant cannibals.

So the next time some twit like Cameron Diaz says that a vote for the conservative is a vote to legalize rape, just remember, it’s only a scary story. Keep telling yourself it’s not real. Just a little piece of fiction made up to frighten you.

Unlike zombies. Now that’s a different story.