FILM REVIEW: 'Sorcerer's Apprentice' All Flash, No Fun

Nicolas Cage gets a lot of guff from elite critics because he’s considered something of an apostate. A truly talented actor, the Academy Award -winner has always moved to a silent rhythm of his own, oblivious to the criticism as he marches through a hit-and-miss career making the films he wants to make. Whereas critics would prefer Cage impress them with edgy performances in nihilistic indie films no one wants to see but nonetheless confirms their warped worldview, Cage mostly prefers high-concept blockbusters where that interesting inner-tremble of his is just as welcome as something else that’s becoming endangered on today’s big screen: masculinity.

There’s another welcome and rare quality Cage delivers like few others at his level. Whether he’s drinking himself to death in Vegas or expressing admiration for America’s traditions and Founding Fathers during a quest for National Treasure, Cage never plays it anything less than sincere. Regardless of the role, this is one actor who refuses to wink at the elites so they know he knows he’s throwing a bone to the hoi polloi; he never acts as though he’s above the material. When you’re a star, goodwill matters and Nic Cage has had mine since his marvelous turn as a good man whose decency never fails to get him nearly killed in 1993’s under-rated and under-appreciated “Red Rock West.”

For “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” which opens everywhere tomorrow, Cage re-teams with “National Treasure” producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director John Turteltaub. Unfortunately, that pedigree combined with all the goodwill in the world isn’t enough to lift this flat, noisy, special effects extravaganza into anything worth recommending.

Other than a single awkwardly contrived scene, the comedy adventure is not based in any coherent way on the famous and memorable cartoon chapter of the same name that starred Mickey Mouse and appeared in the Walt Disney masterpiece “Fantasia.”Like he did with “Pirates of the Caribbean,” Bruckheimer grabbed a known Disney brand and loosely built a feature film around it. That worked splendidly for “Pirates,” but it’s doubtful we’ll see a “Sorcerer” franchise.

Cage plays Balthazar Blake, a master magician and protégé of Merlin currently residing in modern-day Manhattan and on the lookout for a chosen one, a protégé of his own who might be able to save the world from his arch-nemesis Horvath (Alfred Molina), and free his one true love, Veronica (Monica Bellucci), from a spell that has kept them apart for centuries. Balthazar’s unlikely apprentice ends up being Dave (Jay Baruchel), a jittery, nerdy, whiz kid more comfortable in his physics lab than anywhere else.

You don’t need me to tell you how the rest will play out, and predictability is not the problem here. You can know how a story will unfurl and still enjoy the execution. The problem is that a hundred million dollars have been spent on eye-popping special effects and a concept with unlimited potential, but the silver bullet that undermines everything is the lack of rules in reference to the magic. There has to be rules in order for the audience to understand the stakes. Instead, in “Sorcerer” it’s anything goes. Horvath creates a giant dragon, Balthazar turns it into confetti; and on and on like this until the special effects dull your reason for living.

The unimaginative plot is also confusing. The story opens with two five-to-ten minute prologues, which is one too many. The first is set 1,000 years ago where no amount of voice over can make the needlessly complicated set up make perfect sense. The second is set in 2000 when Dave is ten and first meets Balthazar and is completely pointless.

The characters aren’t very well developed. It isn’t until we’ve stopped caring that Balthazar is given any kind of emotional life and Dave’s quirky shyness is a little too mannered as played by Baruchel. There are plenty of laughs, but not enough to make up for a hollow shell of a story and relationships that never seem to connect.

Kids who enjoy watching others play a video game might enjoy this. Monica Bellucci is GORGEOUS to look at. Parents will appreciate the obvious desire on behalf of the filmmakers to create an innocent, old-fashioned romp for the whole family. The rest of you, however, have been warned.