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Somehow There's a DC Rally Lamer Than Jon Stewart's Set for Saturday


So along with Jon Stewart’s rally happening this Saturday, there will be a smaller group of people planning to march – they being young federal employees fed up with their reputations as loafers and losers.

Organizers call it the “Government Doesn’t Suck March,” but I prefer to call it “The Tepid Rally to Restore Self-Esteem and Show Off My New Vintage T-shirt,” – for it’s a reaction to the nearly universal disgust we hold for people who ride desks in government.


And so, these “web-savvy feds,” as the Washington Post calls them, feel bad that the rest of us hate them – and think the best way to make people like them, is to attach themselves to a more popular figure: Jon Stewart.

According to Steve Ressler, who’s running the thing, the goal of the march is to “remind the world that government employees…. are a lot of cool cats” – and, as the Post points out – they’re folks who work hard, listen to good music and watch “The Daily Show.”

Cool cats indeed. Awesome, daddyo. Anyway, that one quote tells you everything you need to know about these federal employees – they are just earnest libs desperate for approval from the “other cool cats.” And by cats, I think they mean sheep.

And so they’ll march on Saturday, to “raise awareness” that their IPODS are jammed with Lady Gaga, and that they get their politics from the mainstream media-approved Stewart.

I expect much fist-bumping.

Look, here’s a rule to live by: if you ever have to organize a rally to tell people you’re “cool,” chances are, you’re not. Instead – stay home, and thank God you’ve got a job, for now.

Because if the public ever needed a reason to shrink government, this has to be it.

And if you disagree with me you’re a racist homophobic gagaphobe.

Tonight, another killer show!

Nick Gillespie, from Reason!

Mike Baker, from spyville!

Diane Macedo, from!

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