Pop Culture Concern Trolls Attack Bristol Palin: 'DWTS' is Doomed, I Tell You! Doomed!

***The first name of Eric Deggens has been corrected.

Please keep in mind that both of the pop culture writers quoted below do not in any way have it in for Bristol Palin, daughter of dreaded Sarah, personally. Because that would just be too sad of a commentary on what a pathetic waste of shallowness they both are. So this isn’t about politics or some immature form of animus or hate towards an innocent young woman. No, no, no… This concern is a genuine one for the credibility of a very important reality show, for the future of “Dancing With the Stars,” for what’s best for these here United States of America.

Nothing brings out the Left’s hate faster than a happy Palin….

In fact, Cynics, feel free to jump in your Alternate Universe Machine and you will see the exact same writers writing the exact same columns with one of President Obama’s lovely daughters in the exact same situation.

Now that I’ve met my sarcasm quota for the week…

Over at something called Popeater someone named Rob Shuter, who has one of those cute profile photos where he cleverly puts hand to chin, serves up this hilarious headline: “Insiders: If Bristol Palin Wins, ‘Dancing’ Is Ruined“.

Really? Ruined? One of the most popular shows on television is doomed if the most popular contestant wins? Sounds as though television’s changed some since I stopped watching in the mid-90s. Because something like that happening would most certainly be a first.

Here are the article’s juiciest quotes, and by juiciest I of course mean lamest and most desperate:

“This will be a disaster for the show if Bristol wins,” one TV insider tells me. “Any creditability the show had will be over. It will go from being a dancing competition to a popularity competition where whoever has the most rabid fan base will always win no matter how little talent they have.”

Someday someone’s going to wake up to the realization that their life is so meaningless that they actually give off-the-record quotes about reality shows. But Shuter’s article is far from done with the dumb:

“Another problem the producers foresee is that after Bristol wins no one in Hollywood will ever want to be on the show again,” a well-placed ABC source tells me. “Why would a real star want to compete and lose against someone like [former U.S. Senate candidate] Christine O’Donnell or Levi Johnston. It’s humiliating. The producers know they are in big trouble for sure.”

Another first. How will we get celebrities well past their prime to appear on one of the most popular television shows in the country?

Out of concern over how to solve this problem, I am now putting my hand to my chin.

Over at something called “The Feed” someone names Eric Deggans is also (in-between Tea Party bashing) aching with concern over the future of a reality show should the contestant America loves the most win:

Such unfairness becomes a major issue now, with Palin now among the show’s three finalists with Disney Channel star Kyle Massey and longtime favorite Jennifer Grey. If a clearly less-talented Palin lands in the top two competing against Grey, the battle of popular vs skilled will be outlined in sharp relief.

With the limited credibility of one of TV’s highest-rated shows hanging in the balance.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen … Hanging. In. The. Balance.

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The only thing hanging in the balance is the mental health of a wide swath of media sufferers of Palin Derangement Syndrome who are all too willing to whore out their credibility by spouting this hilariously stupid nonsense all in a not-so-stealth campaign to undermine something they know will send them over the edge…

…Seeing the words Palin and Victory together.

These two transparently dishonest concern trolls have inspired me to do something I’ve never even considered before. Not only am I going to watch the next episode of DWTS, I’m gonna vote like a deceased, ACORN-loving Democrat from Chicago. Then afterwards, I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart while eating a cheeseburger in my gas guzzler to buy Sarah Palin’s new book as my DVR records “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” so I can watch it later on my now outlawed-in-California plasma TV with the air conditioner set on KILL THE PLANET.

These people are wicked. They can’t even allow a young woman to have a little fun without doing everything in their power to publicly undermine and humiliate her. As I’ve said before, I may join them in Hell, but I’ll have better living quarters.

And the Left starts writing columns about how a Bristol Palin win will cause bullying in 5… 4… 3… 2….

Can I get a Team Bristol?