America's New Default Response: 'That's Offensive'

So Capt. Owen Honors was canned as commander of the USS Enterprise after airing “sexually charged” videos taken aboard the carrier. A lot of people weighed in on this, all saying the appropriate thing.

Which is: the videos were offensive.

Yeah, offensive.

I haven’t seen the clips, but I heard they showed simulated masturbation and shower scenes with women.

I.e. the same crap you see on Parker/Spitzer.

Anyway, I suppose I should follow the correct response, and say it’s “offensive.”

But I don’t see it as much as offensive, as it is stupid. But I get why people say it’s offensive. Because we have to say that. My feeling is, there’s very little in life we actually find offensive. It’s just that the stuff we laugh at privately, we must condemn publicly.

We’re hypocrites.

But the real truth is – this guy is losing his job, because he thought he was funny. That’s it. He had the Michael Scott disease. Scott’s the character in The Office – the boss of a paper company. But he’s also a frustrated entertainer, who, when given the chance, makes videos, tells jokes, performs skits… all awful and unsuitable for the workplace.

Captain Honor’s infraction is that he wanted to be funny – when he was just inappropriate. I don’t know if that should kill his career.

But most important, this is a lesson for those who rise up in the ranks in any kind of employment. The higher you go, the more free time you have. Which is why we need to bring back building ships in a bottle. Yeah, It’s pointless. But no one can manufacture phony outrage over it because it’s so pointless.

But also, it gets the chicks.

And if you disagree with me, you’re worse than Hitler.

Tonight:

S.E. Cupp!

Robert Kelly!

Monica Crowley!