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Thoughts on Marriage From … Cameron Diaz?


Who better to expound on the institution of marriage than a promiscuous, never-been-married Hollywood liberal out promoting a movie about an oversexed teacher “saving up cash for a boob job?”

Relationship expert Cameron Diaz felt moved to share her opinions with the boys of Maxim magazine. This time she said marriage is a “dying institution.” Ms. Diaz, who’s seen more home runs than her current beau Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez has seen in his whole career, said “I think we have to make our own rules. I don’t think we should live our lives in relationships based off old traditions that don’t suit our world any longer.”

You remember Cameron – she’s the one who bragged about her promiscuity: “I can be attracted to a woman sexually, but it doesn’t mean I want to be in love with a woman. If I’m going to be with a woman sexually, it doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian. We put these restraints and definitions on people, but it’s hard to define.”

Cameron Diaz was described by the international men’s magazine as a “rarefied creature even by Hollywood standards,” but to vulgarity aficionados Ms. Diaz is a woman full of “beauty, intelligence, and humor witha 4.0 in Potty Mouth.” Evidently, for consumers of “soft pornfor male adolescents,” Diaz’s coarse language elevates the ‘Vanilla Sky’ actress to the position of matrimonial philosopher and discerning harbinger of “new rules.”

Summing up her marriage insights with advice that is sure to strengthen the fabric of society, theorist Diaz said: “Guys need women who challenge them and don’t let them get away with their s**t. Women, conversely, need to not be crazy bitches who blow up when their guys tell them something that scares them.”

Diaz’s thoughts on traditional marriage were a perfect promotional segue for her new movie “Bad Teacher.” After demeaning a God-ordained institution, wanton schoolmarm Diaz set her sights on glorifying her role as a bawdy middle school teacher who probably makes child predator/stellar educators Mary Kay Letourneau and Debra LaFave both look like Teacher of the Year.

“Lying seductively across a desk in a thigh-high miniskirt and red stilettos in a clutter-filled classroom,” Cameron graced the pages of the rude men’s magazine. Referring to the movie “Bad Teacher,” the publication declares: “It’s not every day that one of the world’s biggest movie stars offers to fulfill your schoolboy fantasies. But then Cameron Diaz is not your average movie star… Miss Diaz, we’ve been bad, bad boys!”

In the movie’s car washing scene, Cameron resurrects the spirit of the rather scandalous Van Halen hit single “Hot for Teacher.” The 1984 video depicted a bikini-clad teacher parading around in front of a gang of lecherous, barely pubescent 7thgraders who apparently had it ‘bad’ and were ‘hot for teacher.’ Twenty-seven years later, Diaz ratcheted it up a few notches with raunchy language, vodka-swilling and breast enhancements.

In addition to dissing marriage, the not so angelic‘Charlie’s Angel’ continues to make her “own rules” and feels comfortable promoting a movie where she slithers all over a soapy car in hot pants during a car wash scene full of junior high school children. Irreverent Diaz said the best part about the movie was that she enjoyed“being allowed to be rude to kids during the filming.” Diaz joked, “The best thing was getting to abuse children, none of whom were harmed during the filming.”

Ask Diaz about her romance with A-Rod: “It’s really awesome.” Her feelings on marriage: “Marriage hasn’t been important to me.” On having children: “We don’t need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this planet.”

Cameron Diaz is convinced that when it comes to marriage, family and education, “We should [not] live our lives in relationships based off old traditions that don’t suit our world any longer.” Which means the world Cameron endorses is immoral, corrupt, disrespectful, and depraved.

So there you have it – Cameron Diaz, is just another in a long list of left-wing Hollywood social engineers who seem to believe American society is bettered by way of morally bankrupt musings.

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