So New York Congressman Anthony Weiner has had a bad week.
And it’s only Tuesday.
For those of you who have a real life, here’s some back-up:
A lewd photo of a pair of bulging underpants was sent to a Seattle co-ed from Weiner’s Twitter account. The woman, who Weiner follows on Twitter, had once referred to him as her “boyfriend. The pic appeared
after Weiner had tweeted when a TV appearance would air in Seattle.
Now Weiner claims he was hacked.
And, as a congressman – and son of a lawyer – he knows this crime calls for an FBI investigation.
But oddly – Weiner has hired a lawyer.
So when a congressman hires private counsel instead of going to the cops – what does that say?
That it’s “time to move on,” says Weiner.
Now, when someone says “it’s time to move on,” it’s not a statement, but a plea.
If you’re a victim of a crime, you don’t want it “to move on.” You want the world to stop and help you.
“Nothing to see here,” means THERE’S SOMETHING TO SEE HERE.
In an interview Monday, Weiner rattled off the big issues that were far more important: the deficit, health care, the Supreme Court.
The problem is, the more you pile on the issues, the more we can see the thing you wish to hide. You look like a teenage boy hiding porn when your mom comes in to make your bed.
Anyway, since there’s a criminal allegation, why not a criminal investigation? Well, perhaps there’s a simpler explanation.
My theory: Congressman Weiner was out of underwear.
And so, he sent a picture of his favorite briefs to Hanes in Seattle, for a quick shipment.
Clearly he was excited about the whole transaction.
Or maybe – just maybe – he was flirting with this girl, sent a crotch shot, and hit the wrong key on his blackberry.
But that’s too farfetched.
It’s much better to act like you’re hiding something.
Ambassador John Bolton!
and Joe Devito, in for Andy Levy.