Daily Call Sheet: 'Lilyhammer' and Vin Diesel Rule, Masculinity Rebounds, and Happy Friday!

Daily Call Sheet: 'Lilyhammer' and Vin Diesel Rule, Masculinity Rebounds, and Happy Friday!

CONSERVATIVES MUST TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK NETFLIX FOR ‘LILYHAMMER.’

“Lilyhammer’ isn’t just a conservative show; it’s an anti-leftist show. This is the kind of show I’ve been waiting for for decades. For years now, those of us who believe in personal liberty and who love our country and who oppose the nanny state have been ridiculed, mocked, and marginalized in popular culture. You know this and I know this. So…

Please trust me when I tell you that “Lilyhammer” finally does to them what they’ve been doing to us.

This is OUR show. It’s not mean-spirited, it’s not preachy, it’s not at all political. Everything emanates from wonderfully realized characters and well-written stories.

Anyone who’s read me for any amount of time knows that I don’t fall into the “support it just because it’s conservative” camp, because I just don’t believe in that. If it’s no good, it’s no good, and we’re not doing our side any favors through some affirmative-action program that supports marginal product just because.

“Lilyhammer” isn’t just good, it’s near-great. Here’s my review.

In related news…

IT’S ON: NETFLIX WANTS TO COMPETE WITH HBO

Let me just start by saying that I don’t think for a moment that Netflix is interested in engaging in the culture wars. “Lilyhammer” doesn’t represent a sign-post that Netflix is going to become some sort of right-wing outlet, nor would I want it that way.


“Lilyhammer” is, however, a sign that Netflix is at least open-minded, which is all Big Hollywood has ever asked for. We just want a seat at the table, not to take chairs away from anyone else.

When you include Cinemax, HBO currently has 93 million subscribers. Netflix has 25 million subscribers.

But if Netflix is open-minded and willing to consider quality programming like “Lilyhammer” which will appeal to conservatives, like Fox News, they can capture a market everyone else is intentionally ignoring.

NEW ‘WIZARD OF OZ’ RESTORATION COMING — WITH 3-D TO FOLLOW?

Just because you can do something, that doesn’t mean you should. If James Cameron and George Lucas want to oversee 3D conversions of their films, that’s their right as the creators of those films. But converting “The Wizard of Oz” to 3D is absolutely no different than colorization. Without the permission of ANY of the artists involved, profiteers are coming along to alter their vision.

Via Twitter I asked Lumenick about this. He was good enough to respond:

Done right, 3-D OZ could enhance the experience. Most colorization was badly done by technicians oblivious to aesthetics… Turner’s original colorization goal was to replace originals facing copyright expirations. 3-D OZ would be an alternate version.

Fair enough. Obviously, there’s a difference between a “different version” and “replacement,” but I still don’t like it.

Now get off my lawn.

HARRY KNOWLES DIGS ‘GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE’

The first is unfairly maligned and has some surprisingly mature Christian themes. The third-act is anti-climactic to be sure, but overall the story has a lot going for it, including the incredible-looking Eva Mendes.

Most critics, though, hate the sequel.

But I’ll go with the 63% of ticket-buyers who didn’t.

NEW TRAILER ARRIVES FOR ‘G.I. JOE: RETALIATION

It’s a very good sign that Hollywood is attempting to salvage this franchise by adding two masculine men to the cast — Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis. Even though the first was a hit, I think everyone involved knew that in order to attract ticket-buyers to a sequel to a film no one really liked, some drastic changes would need to be made. That primary change was a shot of testosterone.

Another hopeful sign that the era of the metrosexual action star might be coming to an end.

CLOONEY & O. RUSSELL END ‘THREE KINGS’ FEUD

Oh, good, because that should be news. Knowing that gajillionaire elitists have worked out their differences is a relief to all Americans.

Hey, do you remember the wildly over-praised “Three Kings?” That was when Clooney was in favor of protecting the Iraqi people from marauding death squads. Oddly enough, though, just a few years later, Clooney changed his mind about all that and joined the sub-human crowd that demanded we abandon Iraq, which would’ve surely resulted in the population being butchered in a power vacuum filled by death squads and terrorists.

I didn’t leave George Clooney. George Clooney left me.

PIRACY HAS NO EFFECT ON NORTH AMERICAN BOX OFFICE

Hollywood and the sycophants who cover Hollywood do not want to look into the abyss and admit that a lousy product is hurting box office and DVD sales. That’s why they blame piracy.  And they certainly don’t want to come to terms with the fact that alienating half their audience might be affecting the bottom line.

To acknowledge either would mean change, and an industry mostly controlled by marginally talented, left-wing ideologues doesn’t want change.

This same study does suggest that piracy might hurt the overseas box office, but that’s something that can be easily remedied by closing the gap between when a film opens in the U.S. and in foreign markets. But rather than do that, totalitarian Hollywood would prefer to strip us of our freedom with SOPA.

ROSIE O’DONNELL TALKS FEAR OF LITTLE PEOPLE WITH CHELSEA HANDLER

This is what I meant yesterday when I said the MSM props up and makes relevant those nobody in America watches. Stephen Colbert goes dark for a few days and it’s national news, even though less than one percent of the American population watches his show.

Rosie O’Donnell has an audience of right around 200,000, which is pathetic. But the Los Angeles Times writes about her and pushes her into the news cycle because they agree with her politics.

This is the biggest con in pop culturedom. It’s how the corrupt media creates their own reality and gives impact to those who have no audience or populist appeal.

Conservative programming like “Sons of Guns,” “Dirty Jobs,” “Swamp Loggers,” and the like pull in many more viewers than Jon Stewart, Colbert, or Rosie — but the MSM ignores them. The beliefs and values held by those who star in much more popular shows are ignored and memory-holed.

It’s all politics, it’s all a con, and it is incestuous.

Moreover, through another con known as cable bundling, we’re the assholes funding our own political enemies.

Side Note: obviously, I hope and pray there are no terrible personal issues behind Colbert having to go into reruns.

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LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING

xXx (2002) — Not only is this reimagining of the James Bond genre exciting, funny and action-packed — it’s also shot on a tripod, EXTREMELY PATRIOTIC, and doesn’t star a metrosexual.

Foo foo critics rejecting this, yes, imperfect film perfect sense, but those of us who lament the fall of the modern action movie should build a shrine to “xXx.”

Just for starters, the story  is unabashedly pro-American. The Great Vin Diesel plays Xander Cage, a selfish, self-involved, extreme sports adrenaline junkie recruited by Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) to join the CIA in order to “give something back to the country that give him his freedoms.” One side of Gibbons’ face is covered completely in scar tissue, and when two men first meet there’s this exchange:

Xander Cage: I bet that [American] flag is a real comfort every time you look in the mirror.

Gibbons: A small price I paid for putting foot to ass for my country.

The bad guys, by the way, are nihilistic anarchists, and the arc of our protagonist’s character is that he comes to believe in something bigger than himself. In  the end, Xander is the hero willing to die for a cause, and all of this is topped off during the climax when you’re sure Xander’s a dead man about die in a fall. But then his parachute pops open to reveal … the glorious stars and stripes.

Something else we need to appreciate in this era of man-boys, pretty-boys, and metrosexuals — in this era when masculinity is treated like a disease — is Vin Diesel. He’s our Seagal, Bronson, and Kurt Russell. I’ll take “Fast and Furious 1,4 and 5” over any one of those anti-American, shaky-cammed, metrosexual-a-thons known as the “Bourne” films, and most certainly over the last Bond entry.

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SCOTTDS’ EPIC LINKTACULAR

DETAILS ON JOSS WHEDON’S SUPERNATURAL ROMANCE “IN YOUR EYES”

VINCE VAUGHN TO POSSIBLY STAR IN TONY SCOTT’S NEXT FILM, THE DRUG-BUSTING THRILLER “LUCKY STRIKE”

SMALLVILLE”‘S KRISTIN KREUK TO STAR IN WB’S “BEAUTY AND THE BEAST” PILOT

DENNIS QUAID AND JENNIFER ANISTON IN TALKS TO STAR IN “SWITCH” BASED ON ELMORE LEONARD’S NOVEL

VIDEO OF THE DAY – THE 100 GREATEST NICOLAS CAGE QUOTES

STUDY: ONLINE PIRACY DOESN’T HURT U.S. BOX-OFFICE RETURNS, BUT THERE’S A CATCH

SPOILERY DESCRIPTION OF A SCENE FROM ‘MAN OF STEEL

MOVIE REVIEW AGGREGATORS GROW IN POPULARITY, BUT DO THEY MATTER?

MIKLOS ROZSA’S COMPLETE SCORE FOR “BEN-HUR” FINALLY RELEASED

SPIDER-MAN PRODUCERS CAVE IN, REACH SETTLEMENT WITH JULIE TAYMOR

HOLLYWOOD HULK LOU FERRIGNO BACK IN THE SPOTLIGHT

THE PROBLEM WITH THE NIELSEN RATINGS

10 GREAT STORIES TOLD WITHIN MOVIES

‘300′ SPINOFF LANDS ‘LONDON BOULEVARD’ ACTOR IN LEAD ROLE

WHEN YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES DIE (BUT REMAIN YOUR FAVORITES)

HUGH GRANT MAKES THE WACHOWSKIS’ ‘CLOUD ATLAS’ SOUND AS IF IT WILL BE AMAZING

GAEL GARCIA BERNAL TO PLAY FUTURISTIC ZORRO IN ‘ZORRO REBORN’

LOVE AND “ANNIE HALL”

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CLASSIC PICK FOR  SATURDAY,  FEBRUARY 18

TCM:

12:00 PM  Ninotchka (1939) —   A coldhearted Soviet agent is warmed up by a trip to Paris and a night of love. Dir: Ernst Lubitsch Cast:  Greta Garbo, Melvyn Douglas, Ina Claire. BW-111 mins, TV-G, CC.

The “Lilyhammer” of its day.

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NOTE: Everyone have a great holiday weekend. The Daily Call Sheet will return Tuesday.

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