Company Unleashes $30K Anti-Zombie Kit

Company Unleashes $30K Anti-Zombie Kit

A new company, cashing in on the spate of successful zombie horror flicks and Americans’ newfound sense of global insecurity, has released a kit to combat the living dead. Optics Planet’s newest product is the Zombie Extermination, Research and Operations kit, priced at upward of $31,000 – although the price was recently decreased to a more manageable $23,999, making your zombie-fighting capabilities far more accessible.

There’s a special set of gloves for punching zombies, a knife made for going after brains, and a holographic sight with biohazard reticle. “You can go from thirst-quenching to death-dealing in less than .45 seconds,” brags the company.

Sales thus far have been slow, undoubtedly due to the lack of zombies. If President Obama wants to stimulate the economy, though, he can sink several hundred million into this preventative anti-zombie care.


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