“I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, ‘what’s a movie tradesman doing out here?'”
Mr. Eastwood did not, in fact, know what we were all thinking.
“So I — so I’ve got Mr. Obama sitting here.”
Numerous reviews of the videotape have confirmed that President Obama was not, in fact, sitting in the chair during Mr. Eastwood’s remarks.
“I was even crying. And then finally — and I haven’t cried that hard since I found out that there is 23 million unemployed people in this country.”
The number of unemployed Americans did not reach 23 million until after President Obama’s inauguration so Eastwood’s statement makes no sense chronologically.
“But, I thought maybe as an excuse — what do you mean shut up?” (LAUGHTER)
Eastwood was suggesting that someone in the chair had just told him to shut up when, as has been noted, there was clearly no one in the chair.
“OK, I thought maybe it was just because somebody had the stupid idea of trying terrorists in downtown New York City.”
The idea that giving Khalid Sheik Muhammed a public forum with which to advance his violent agenda as “stupid” is Mr. Eastwood’s opinion, not a fact.
“But you thought the war in Afghanistan was OK. You know, I mean — you thought that was something worth doing. We didn’t check with the Russians to see how did it — they did there for 10 years.”
During their 10-year occupation of Afghanistan the people Eastwood refers to here were known as the Soviets.
“And I thought — I thought, yeah — I am not going to shut up, it is my turn.” (LAUGHTER)
Again, Eastwood was suggesting that someone in the chair had just told him to shut up when, as has been noted twice already, there was clearly no one seated in the chair.
“I wondered about when the — what do you want me to tell Romney? I can’t tell him to do that. I can’t tell him to do that to himself.”
Depending on which variant of “it” one prefers it is, in fact, possible to do that to ones self. Especially if you’re one of the women the Republican Party is currently at war with.
“You’re crazy, you’re absolutely crazy.”
Even if one accepts, for the sake of argument, Eastwood’s conceit that President Obama is seated in the chair, there is currently no public record of the President having been diagnosed with any mental illness.
“You’re getting as bad as Biden. Of course we all know Biden is the intellect of the Democratic party.”
Joe Biden is not the intellect of the Democratic party, he is the Vice President of the United States.
“Kind of a grin with a body behind it.”
Joe Biden is clearly more than just a grin with a body behind it. He also has hair plugs.
“A stellar businessman. Quote, unquote, ‘a stellar businessman.'”
Bill Clinton’s actual quote regarding Mitt Romney was: “There’s no question that in terms of getting up and going to the office and, you know, basically performing the essential functions of the office, a man who’s been governor and had a sterling business career crosses the qualification threshold.”
“And I think it’s that time. And I think if you just step aside and Mr. Romney can kind of take over. You can maybe still use [the] plane, though maybe a smaller one. Not that big gas guzzler you are going around to colleges and talking about student loans and stuff like that.”
President Obama mainly uses Air Force One to attend Democratic fundraisers, to vacation in Europe, and for golfing trips.
“You are an — an ecological man.”
President Obama’s credentials as an “ecological man” are a matter of opinion. Critics note that since 2008 ocean levels have continued to rise and the Earth has yet to begin healing itself.
“Why would you want to drive that around?”
Air Force One is not driven, it is flown.
“OK, well anyway. All right, I’m sorry. I can’t do that to myself either.”
As has previously been noted, even a man of Eastwood’s advanced years can still do that to himself to a certain degree.
“We own this country.”
Even a cursory audit of the federal government’s books would suggest that China owns this country.
“Politicians are employees of ours. And — so — they are just going to come around and beg for votes every few years.”
Not all politicians “come around and beg for votes every few years.” Many of them offer bribes or other inducements.
“Whether you are a Democrat or Republican or whether you’re libertarian or whatever, you are the best.”
This one is partially correct. While Democrats are clearly the best, a broad consensus exists within the scientific community that Republicans are intrinsically evil and that most Libertarians are just pot heads.
“And we should not ever forget that. And when somebody does not do the job, we got to let them go.”
To cite just one example which refutes this outlandish claim, before becoming vice president Joe Biden was a United States Senator for 36 years.
“We do not have to be [mental] masochists and vote for somebody that we don’t really even want in office just because they seem to be nice guys.”
What do you think we did in 2008?