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Lena Dunham Creates Dream Coachella Girl Band B.I.T.C.H. with Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Jill Biden, Cindy McCain

Actress and publisher Lena Dunham has created her own fantasy all-girl Coachella band that’s interested less in music and more in stifling the “red tide of misogyny” — and it includes DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Jill Biden, Cindy McCain, California Attorney General Kamala Harris, a hologram of ballerina Maria Tallchief and the “spirit” of feminist writer Andrea Dworkin.

In a bit of creative writing for her Lenny Letter newsletter, Dunham wrote that it would be a “special” year at the annual Indio, California music festival.

“Because, like Beyoncé before me, I have been secretly developing a music/movement project that will explode brains across America and the Netherlands. It’s not a band. It’s not a dance troupe. It’s a social ®evolution, and we’re called B.I.T.C.H. (Benevolent Incarnation of The Cunt in Harmony),” the 29-year-old Girls star wrote.

“We as a group felt the best way to stifle the red tide of misogyny and divisive feminist in-fighting that has overtaken our country during this heated presidential primary was to head to Coachella and perform a set that will make all the Pretty Little Liars dance till they have to be taken to urgent care for dehydration,” she said, describing the fictional band’s mission.

The members of the band were carefully considered. Biden is a “tireless supporter of our nation’s troops” and a “blonde who can handle keyboards/synth,”while Cindy McCain is a “ferocious opponent of human trafficking and also a ferocious percussionist.”

Harris is a “taskmaster who always keeps us focused and on message,” while Wasserman Shultz’s performance style “most closely resembles a young Iggy Pop.”

Dunham added that Maria Tallchief, America’s first prima ballerina, was “not appreciative” of the effort that went into creating her hologram, but luckily, the spirit of Andrea Dworkin had joined the band to remind us that “every man (and man-loving woman) at Coachella and beyond is simply waiting for us to fail and we cannot let the forces of masculine oppression keep us from getting a great Pitchfork review.”

The first weekend of Coachella concluded on Sunday night and featured headlining performances from Guns n’ Roses, LCD Soundsystem and Calvin Harris. The second weekend of the two-weekend festival kicks off Friday, April 24.

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