She brought you vaginal steam cleaning. She brought you the $200 sex-drive boosting Moon Dust Smoothie, and the holiday gift guides with the $46,000 mahjong set and the $12,000 vase. Now — in the first-ever sex-themed edition of her Goop newsletter — “incredibly close to the common woman” Gwyneth Paltrow brings you the 24-carat gold vibrator and temperature-adaptive black glass ben wa balls.
In the former article, the Goop team laments the unavailability of a fictional yam-based personal lubricant featured on the hit Netflix show Grace and Frankie.
“We’d never considered what went into lube, and that it’s actually super toxic (the most popular options contain parabens, for one) and that we are in theory putting it into the most vulnerable and permeable parts of our bodies,” the article reads. “So, maybe Frankie was onto something when she called her yam-lube invention ‘a big moment in the history of the vagina.'”
While the Goop team sadly could not recreate the sweet potato-based sex aid, it did helpfully provide a link to the next best thing, available right in the Goop Clean Beauty online shop: organic lubricant infused with “extracts of hibiscus, green tea and aloe.” The organic lubricant can be had for just $13.
Meanwhile, in other areas of the newsletter, Goop contributor Michaela Boehm explores sexual disconnection and “how to move energy south,” while a Dr. Sadeghi asks readers: “What Do a Presidential Candidate and Orgasms Have in Common?”
In an interview with Self magazine last month, Goop founder Paltrow discussed the importance of maintaining a strong work-life balance.
“We have this idea that you can’t be a mother and a businesswoman and like to have sex!” the 43-year-old actress told the magazine. “Like, ‘Gwyneth has sex? Really?’ It doesn’t seem to go together. But I think it’s important, as mothers and as women contributing to society in whatever way we each are, that our true sexuality doesn’t get lost or put aside.”
Perhaps it was this insight that sparked the creation of the sex issue’s newest gift guide, a list of “not-so-basic sex toys.”
Among them: the 24k gold Lelo Inez vibrator, crafted “for those who understand that you can’t put a price on pleasure.” Nevertheless, there is, of course, a price: $15,000. More modest pleasure-seekers can order the Inez in stainless steel, for a relatively more affordable $7,900.
If that fails, one could try the Agent Provocateur black and gold cat whip, priced modestly at $535, or else the $399 Tiani vibrating couples’ massager, “featuring a ring of 24k gold laser-engraved with a unique serial number and a new dual-motor design for more power than ever before.”
Or perhaps Goop readers don’t need sex toys to take their pleasure to the next level, but rather advice and general information. In that case, take heed, fellow Goop readers: “Ideally, you want to find a vegan, paraben-free, glycerin-free, Nonoxynal-9-free, and benzocaine- and lidocaine-free condom.”
Read the entirety of Goop’s first-ever “Sex Issue” here.
Follow Daniel Nussbaum on Twitter: @dznussbaum