Once again, its time to add to the official Jeff Dunetz, “Stupid Things Blamed on Global Warming” list. During the past two and a half years, global warming moonbats have blamed each of the following on global warming, climate change or whatever the latest they have decided to give their over-hyped environmental calamity.
Incredible shrinking sheep, Invasion of jellyfish in the Mediterranean, Surge in fatal shark attack, Boy Scout tornado deaths, Global conflict, Beer tasting different, Suicide of farmers in Australia, Bigger tuna fish, longer days, shorter days, Collapse of gingerbread houses in Sweden, Cow infertility, UFO sightings in the UK, Rise in insurance premiums, Heroin addiction, Frigid Cold Winters in Great Britain, Cancer, Death from heart disease, diabetes, stroke, respiratory disease and even accidents, homicide, suicide, water -borne disease outbreaks, heavier, wetter snowstorms treacherous for travel and ambulation, Lyme disease, swarms of allergy-inducing, stinging insects, along with mosquitoes and devastating pine bark beetle infestations and the spread of forest and crop pests, 40,000 dead crabs , unrest in the Middle East. screwed-up love making, the Japanese earthquake-tsunami, horrible rash of tornadoes in southeast United States.
The latest addition comes from Dan Ferber and Dr. Paul Epstein, authors of a new book, Changing Planet, Changing Health: How the Climate Crisis Threatens Our Health and What We Can Do about It. Ferber is a reporter, and the good Doctor is Associate Director of the Center for Health and the Global Environment at Harvard Medical School (wow, an MD and Harvard Medical School, his mother must be so proud).
Some might say the two authors simply chose something new to alarm the public about. However, I disagree. These guys may have stumbled upon a solution to climate change and the violence in the Middle East. Miraculously they their book has “killed two birds with one stone.” Allow me to explain.
The book has the usual bogus warnings about climate change leading to the spread of infectious diseases and respiratory ailments across the globe and contributed to thousands of deaths through heat waves and other extreme weather events. But it goes on to say that climate change has fueled recent revolts in the Middle East and North Africa.
Holy Cow! I bet that Ferber and Epstein are in the White House right now, urging President Obama to leave Qadaffi of Libya and Assad of Syria alone because it isn’t their fault. People aren’t revolting because of their tyrannical rule, they are revolting because gas-guzzling automobiles, burning of coal, human exhalation, and of course cow farts have messed up the atmosphere.
It’s a miracle ! These guys have solved all of our Middle East problems. I bet Obama’s upcoming Middle East speech will discuss this exact issue (although due to his high position I assume he will say flatulence instead of farts).
An unstable climate, Epstein explained, is directly linked to social and political unrest. “I think we’re looking at increasing damages and social disruption from the climate instability and extremes,” he said. “The earth itself can go to a new equilibrium, but we need to back off. We’re pushing it hard.”
See! That’s the climate change solution! In order to solve the global warming issue, the United States should direct its spy satellites to search for the nasty people who are pushing the Earth hard. Maybe Van Jones will help, after all he is leading the UN effort for the Earth given the same rights as a Human. I am sure he would agree that no person or planet should be subjected to hard pushing or any other kind of bullying. Its no wonder the Earth is getting warmer, its holding in the anger.
Epstein said that humans need to dramatically decrease fossil fuel and wood burning “in order to give the climate a chance to re-stabilize at a level that would be viable” for environmental and human health.
“People across this country are realizing that we have a real problem on our hands,” Ferber said. “I am actually optimistic that more and more people are starting to deal with that reality and say, ‘what solutions can we come up with to deal with this problem?'”
Once we apply their solutions to save the world, Dan Ferber and Dr. Paul Epstein should be given some sort of Presidential medal for their incredible service. Instead of coming up with brand new bogus ways to frighten the world into believing the global warming hoax, they have come up with concrete solutions to the problem. And to prove my feeling that these guys deserve some praise I am going to send them a nice letter, just as soon as I remove my tongue from my cheek.
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