Washington Post columnist Gene Weingarten wants us all to know that he’s “fallen in love” with a racist, sexist female that presents “awkward truths that people tend to deny.” His dog, you see, is a racist Republican. And, in the end, his whole column is just an excuse to slam Mitt Romney.
I guess it’s supposed to be a “humor” column, but when this “humorist” thinks it’s funny that Republicans are racists and all manner of creeps, well, perhaps we red-staters might be forgiven if laughter isn’t our first reaction.
Weingarten begins by confessing that at 60 years of age, he’s “fallen in love with a Republican.” That Republican is Murphy, his dog of five years.
Then Weingarten goes on a tear, rolling out all the anti-Republican tropes. Republicans are racist, they are prudes, they are butt-in-skis, they are rigid, they hate the disabled, they’re against alternate energy, they hate the environment, and they’re gun-loving rednecks. In short, Republicans are all ignorant creeps that embarrass smart fellows like Weingarten.
Instead of bothering with his “humor,” it would be more economical to just list all the nasty things Weingarten says of his dog, who is a stand-in for Republicans.
Paragraph three portrays Republicans as being inappropriately interested “in the reproductive systems of women” they do not know. They “shamelessly” stick their noses into women’s business.
Paragraph four says that Republicans are “embarrassing” for their morality and don’t like it when people kiss.
Weingarten says that Republicans don’t like the disabled. They don’t like “people on crutches” or “people with limps.”
Republicans hate “alternate energy” and are against electric cars.
They want to shut down the Post Office.
Republicans are gun nuts and love “huntin.'”
They have “some issues with racial diversity.”
They are against “environmental protection.”
They are against helping others and are all about “I got mine.”
Then, at the tail end of the piece, comes the other reason Weingarten unleashed this “funny” article on us: bashing Mitt Romney.
Because of a certain regrettable episode many years ago, Mitt Romney is in trouble with dog owners; it’s a huge constituency that needs shoring up.
Ah, the old dog on the roof incident once again.
The final insult is a slam that no Republican candidates are “qualified.” Of his dog he says, “You think she’s not qualified, but she is, at least as much so as most of the candidates.”