Happy 4/20 Day, America.
It’s been a good year for the legal weed. Alaska and Oregon joined Colorado and Washington on the legalization freight train, and several more states are set to follow in 2016. Mobile marijuana delivery apps like Eaze are attracting millions of dollars in venture capital, and celebrity tokers like Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, and even the estate of Bob Marley are looking to get a piece of legal weed revenue for themselves. Miley Cyrus is still smoking (and still naked).
As throngs of marijuana enthusiasts gather in Denver and San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park to pay tribute to the Thanksgiving of Weed, let’s take a look at some of this year’s best pot-related accessories. After all, holidays are a time for giving.
As a nifty bonus, the list doubles as a makeshift self-quiz: If you own any of the items listed below, you’re probably spending too much money on your drug habit.
1. Shine 24K Gold Rolling Papers
Shine’s 24K gold rolling papers are the perfect gift for those who want to spend more money on the paper their joint will be rolled with than on what’s inside. At $55 for a 12-pack, each joint you roll will already be worth nearly five bucks before you put anything inside it. 2 Chainz demoed the papers last month as part of the “Most Expensivest Sh*t” GQ web series. Meanwhile, the peasants are left to suffer with 1 1/4” ZigZags.
2. Smokeable Sweatshirts
Have you ever been outside in the cold weather, perhaps building a snowman, when you’ve needed to take a smoke break? Well, now you don’t even have to pack a pipe. Pick up a hoodie from Hood Horkerz and simply pack your marijuana into one side of the sweatshirt’s drawstring. Use the other drawstring to inhale, and boom, you’ve got yourself a nifty little sweatshirt pipe. $124.99-$149.99 from the Hood Horkerz website. Prefer to vaporize? vapRwear’s got the same products in a smoke-free version.
3. Foria, the Medical Marijuana-Infused Lubricant
Foria is an “all natural sensual enhancement oil thoughtfully designed for women.” That pretty much speaks for itself, and there’s no need to get too graphic here. What’s strange is that the product must be applied at least 30 minutes prior to sex for best results, which immediately begs the question of whether it would be easier to just smoke a joint before getting into bed. As with most marijuana-infused products, Foria is only available to those with valid medical marijuana recommendations from a licensed physician. $88 for a 1 oz. bottle at select locations.
The PipeMug is a coffee mug with a built-in pipe, a combination meant to capitalize on enterprising tokers’ two favorite pastimes. Simply load up the attached bowl and inhale through the mug handle while sipping your morning cup of joe and reading the paper. At first glance, this seems like a home run for weed-loving coffee aficionados. At second glance, it might not be a great idea to put your face so close to a steaming puddle of scorching-hot liquid. At $42.99, this is probably the value pick on this list.
5. Roor’s Skull Gun Bong
Have you ever agonized about a tough buying decision? That paralyzing fear when you realize it’s going to be either one or the other this month? Like, say, the decision between a new bong and a new car? If it’s money you’re trying to burn, then the Roor Skull Gun bong may be for you. The Skull Gun is a limited-edition piece from the German glass masters that’s made the rounds at several Cannabis Cups over the years. While the Skull version is nearly impossible to purchase, Roor is offering a new Ray Gun line custom-made to order. No listed price, but almost certainly costs more than the practical pothead can afford.
6. Marijuana-Infused Pizza Pies
Talk about two birds, one stone. Stoned Oven Gourmet is baking up marijuana-infused pizza pies, allowing those with valid medical marijuana recommendations to get high and eat up with one convenient item. Each personal pizza contains 250mg of THC, ten times the recommended dose of 25mg, so this seems like a good deal. Back in September, Vice News did a taste-test of the pizzas. Their conclusion: “it is insanely strong… even cutting this tiny pizza into eights might lead you to pass out in the nearest bed.” $10, at dispensaries all over Los Angeles.
It’s a brave new world out there. Happy 4/20.