When I was a kid I had a bright red budgie called Percy. He was a jolly bird but whatever you said to him he would respond with the same remark “who’s a pretty boy then?” This week’s PMQ’s reminded me so much of my old budgie, as Miliband chirped out the same old lines: most of which are as dead and buried as poor old Percy.
Chirp, chirp, “lets freeze energy prices” cheap, cheap “cost of living crisis” chirp chirp “he stands up for the wrong people” cheap, cheap.
I have to say it’s starting to become rather tiresome now. No matter how much Ed is goaded about the improving economy, soaring employment and cuts in tax he continues to make the same lame, witless remarks.
The budgie’s one joke was so bad it was almost undetectable, he said “calm down” to the Prime Minister and “eye’s down” to the Chancellor, a reference to the halving of Bingo Tax… For which he received a ‘courtesy laugh’ from a few Labour loyalists.
It did strike me during PMQs that the one ‘repeat like a budgie’ phrase we’ve not heard recently is “it’s hurting, but it’s not working”. But then again, not even Percy would have been stupid enough to have trotted that one out in 2014!
Backbench contributions came from David Burrowes (Con, Enfield Southgate), who sycophantically asked, why the government was so great at creating jobs. Karen Lumley (Con, Redditch) who wanted to know if the PM was pleased that both she, and the town she represents were 50 years old. He was delighted!
Special mention has to go to Stephen Pound (Lab, Ealing North) who attacked the Conservative Party Chairman, Grant Shapps, for his snobbish views on Bingo. Cameron came back by suggesting Pound liked Bingo as it was “the only chance he’ll get at being close to Number 10”, even Pound had a chuckle.
Angela Smith (Lab, Sheffield Hillsborough) asked about the Hunting Ban, apparently it’s not going to be repealed despite the rumour she had heard. Seeing Angela always gives me a shudder though, her face is so sour she’d curdle milk by looking at it.
Overall the budget Budgie continues to chirp away, but like with my old bird the novelty’s wears off in the end and sadly for Percy no-one shed a tear when he finally fell off his perch.
Only thing left to do with Ed is open his cage and let him fly far far away. His comments are hurting but they’re not working!
Ed “The Budgie” Miliband – 0
David Cameron – 3
Speaker John Bercow – 3 (marks given for being relatively quiet)