It can be lonely at the top, and there was evidence of that in Ed Miliband’s leader’s speech today. He started off with a couple of flat jokes, that only he laughed at, then he repeated the phrase “you’re on your own” multiple times before he was promptly turned off by Sky News in favour of Obama’s statement on ISIS.
This was not the first time Ed’s speech has failed to make it as far as the airwaves. The last time was 2011 when he was in Liverpool and someone turned off his microphone. This meant that Ed was preaching to absolutely no-one. This year was slightly better because at least the trusty BBC kept him going.
In the Breitbart London office we were all reminded of the question posed by Napoleon about one his military officers: “I know he’s a good general, but is he lucky?” The French dictator was right to worry. Its all well and good having a small amount of talent but if you never get lucky then what’s the point?
Even the bits that we did hear were laced with embarrassing mistakes. He talked about meeting two women in a park, and the crowd laughed. Ed responded with bemusement saying “its not that funny”. Surely it should have crossed his mind that bored delegates might have rude thoughts flashing through their heads.
Later in the speech he talked about going to an NHS hospital in Watford at 9pm one night. He said he was particularly delighted to see “nurses coming together”. By this point the delegates didn’t snigger with titillation but that’s probably just losing the will to live. Ed “you’re on your own” we thought.
Or maybe the crowd was so disengaged because he started the speech by insulting them. Miliband admitted that he looked and felt older than he had done before taking on the job of Labour leader. He then commented that the assembled party faithful looked older too but “at least I have an excuse”. Once again Ed, “you’re on your own” with that little gem.
The truth is about Ed that Sky News probably did him a favour by turning him off. In 2011 I was reliably informed that most people thought the mute version was better than the original. There is only one thing worse than missing an Ed Miliband speech, and that is managing to watch it.
Oh and he promised a 10 year plan, which in my book is twice as bad as Stalin’s 5 year plan because it involves him staying around long enough to implement it! And once again I say: “you’re on your own”.