Two criminals in Yorkshire may have set the record for the most pointless theft ever: Conservative campaign posters. The shell suited man and his accomplice, who was sporting an Amy Winehouse beehive hairdo, kept stealing the posters under the cover of darkness.
However, the two did not count on the determination of Nigel Adams, the Conservative politician who is seeking re-election as MP for Selby and Ainsty. Adams was so outraged by the loss of his posters he planted a hidden camera to catch the villains.
Over several nights the camera caught the pair stealing the posters without any disguise. The result is the sort of footage the BBC’s Crimewatch show can only dream of. The matter is now in the hands of the police who are confident they will catch the couple.
Adams told Breitbart London: “I’m not sure these two are the sharpest tools in the box, not least because the resale market for second hand Tory posters is not what it used to be. Either way, I think the lady’s distinctive hair-do will probably make them quite easy to identify.
“Thankfully the crime rate is pretty low in this area, but I’m still always happy to help cut it further.”
North Yorkshire Police are keen for the public to help identifying the Shell Suit Two. Call NYP on 101 or email firstname.lastname@example.org if you can help police with their inquiries. If nothing else these two committed crimes against fashion that must not go unpunished.