Owner of World’s Longest Penis Claims Disability Benefits

The Mexican owner of the world’s longest penis says he wishes to be registered as “disabled” because his mammoth appendage makes it impossible for him to hold down a proper job.

Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, 52, from Saltillo in north-eastern Mexico, boasts an appendage so gargantuan – a record-breaking 18.9 inches – that it hangs down below his knee. This apparently renders him incapable of finding regular work. Furthermore, he says, he cannot find a girlfriend because women are too frightened to have sex with him. The Express says “He has no friends and wherever he goes he says people shun him.”

Lest there be any doubt about his condition, he has released X-rays showing his mighty penile glory.

But it is, he insists, a curse rather than a blessing.

He said: “Look where it is, it goes far below the knees. I cannot do anything, I cannot work, and I am a disabled so I want authorities to declare me as a disabled person and give me support. Then, I want to go to the Guinness to get recognition.”

Unfortunately, the Guinness World Records organisation cannot oblige because it has no penis-size category. But if it did, it would show that Cabrera’s member is just two inches shorter than the height of the world’s smallest man.

Cabrera appears to have broken the previous longest-penis record, held by America’s Jonah Falcon, who measured a mere 13.38 inches. However, it may not be quite as impressive as at first it sounds. According to one doctor who examined Cabrera, the main part of his todger is only six inches long with the rest comprising skin.

Doctors have offered surgery to reduce his problem. But presumably this would severely weaken his claims to a disability allowance and also jeopardise the sales of a book he is publishing about his plight called El Sordido Pudor (Sordid Shyness).