Dear Mr. Obama, Europe Is At War. Could You Please Grant This ‘Pilgrim’ Asylum Status in America?

We’re often told the migrants making their way across the Mediterranean are “fleeing war” and that as a result, we need to take them all into Europe. 

This may be the case for a number of Syrians whose lives have been destroyed by the Turkey-assisted Islamic State and the Russian-backed Bashar al Assad. But for a lot of the migrants seeking asylum seeker status in Europe, their claim to refugee-ism is shaky to say the least.

Thousands from Iran, Bangladesh, Pakistan, even India, are pouring across the Med and protesting in bizarre fashions when they’re told, “Sorry, you’re economic migrants”.

Despite that, the political Left, fuelled by open-borders activists and campaign groups, make the case for letting them all in.

Well okay, but if we’re going to play that game, then Europe’s indigenous population will soon have as great a claim to asylum across the world as many of the migrants landing in Greece.

After the Paris attacks, France said it was at “war”. It then invoked article 42.7 of the Lisbon Treaty (the European Union’s founding document) which effectively means all EU member states are now at war, out of solidarité with France. So, I guess we’re at war.

Well I want to flee to somewhere that isn’t at war, please. It’s my human right.

The only problem is the Global Peace Index suggests that there are only 11 countries in the world not involved in some kind of conflict, and those are: Switzerland, Japan, Qatar, Mauritius, Uruguay, Chile, Botswana, Costa Rica, Vietnam, Panama and Brazil.

  • Yeah, Switzerland’s alright. But what if I fancy wearing a burqa down to the shops?
  • Japan? They’ll be at war with China soon.
  • Qatar? Nah, if I want to take up horology I’ll pay the burqa fine in Switzerland.
  • Mauritius? Sinking because of global warming, obviously.

The only one on the list I’ve been to which was quite nice is Costa Rica, and then again I could only get 4mb/s download on their broadband. How am I supposed to exercise my human right to playing on my Xbox?

But really, 11 countries not being at war sort of highlights the stupidity of the grandstanding by the pro-migration activists.

I guess America’s at war too… with drugs, with guns, with women, with poverty, with black people, with ISIS, and Bashar al Assad. But truth be told I could happily settle somewhere like Newport Beach in California. And since refugees are like pilgrims, I reckon I should be welcomed with open arms. Anyone got Obama’s number?

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