Following a flurry of possible Russian submarine sightings off the Swedish coast, the ‘Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society’ (SPAS) has, presuming Russian submariners to be by and large homophobes, deployed a beacon for gay men into Swedish territorial waters.
The watertight electronic box features a fluorescent gliph of a gyrating sailor. It transmits in Morse code through the waters “come this way if you are gay” – a message sure to be picked up by all submarine traffic in the area.
The group hopes the beacon will succeed where weapons have failed to promote peace and harmony. It claims since the beacon was launched on the 27th of April, there have been no sightings of Russian submarines off the Swedish coast.
Breitbart London reported on the outbreak of submarine mania in Sweden after Rear Admiral Anders Grenstad admitted one of the sightings which had resulted in one of the largest NATO active deployments since the end of the Cold War was actually of a civilian boat. The skipper of the white-hulled Time Bandit, a 10-metre pleasure craft, said despite the mix-up the navy hadn’t even contacted him over the matter.
This is not the first time a Western power has attempted to weaponise sexuality to repel the notoriously homophobic Russian navy. The last attempt by the United States in 1978 was not considered to have been a success despite it having gone on to become a Top 10-selling record: